"I know it's crazy and mostly selfish," she said as she was driving him to the airport. It was not the right time to be having this conversation. He was leaving for an entire week and she knew that now was not the time to be discussing long term hopes and dreams. It was the time to be discussing how much she would miss him and how lonely she would feel, like a part of her heart was gone, without him.
He listened patiently. Everything he did for her was done patiently.
"I mean I don't really get it, but when I saw the map of the street, I just became all giddy and nostalgic," she said. " I miss the community - their faces. It makes no sense." She paused to bite her lower lip like she always does when she feels insecure. "Sorry. I'll shut up now. It's silly."
And really, who was she to be talking about such things, especially when he was flying away in a few hours and on the verge of doing something really important. She had had her share of significant moments, and it seemed as though she was taking this one away from him by talking about her nonsensical dreams.
They sat in silence for a while. She waited for him to speak.
"I think I get it," he started. "It's like falling in love. You get that warm feeling every time you think of it. Only instead of falling in love with a person, you're in love with a place, one where you obviously fit and that fits you."
She blushed and then nodded. "Yes," she admitted. Then she blurted, "It isn't very pretty there," as if she were trying to belittle what all of a sudden felt like an indiscretion. "When people think of their ideal location, this place doesn't even make the long list."
"People don't always fall in love with the prettiest person in the room. Love isn't about that," he reminded her.
"But what about you?" she protested. "What if the place I love isn't the same one you love. Where is the place you love? We should go there."
"I used to feel like it was here." he sighed. "Now I'm not sure.." He paused. "Also, though, I do know that next to you is the place I love, wherever that is. I can build community anywhere."
"But that's not fair," she said. "This shouldn't be about me."
"You can't always help who you fall in love with, or where," he said. "Sometimes love works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's possible and sometimes it's not. We'll see what happens."
"But it seems so far away," she thought to herself.
He took her hand, knowing that she was uncertain. Anxious.
A feeling of warmth for him enveloped her- his understanding of all the quirks, his support of things that mattered to her, his enduring patience. And now he was going. She dropped him at the terminal, leaving him, with kisses, to his adventure, without her.
As she drove away, she bit her lower lip.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
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Sunday, July 5, 2009
Patience
"I know it's crazy and mostly selfish," she said as she was driving him to the airport. It was not the right time to be having this conversation. He was leaving for an entire week and she knew that now was not the time to be discussing long term hopes and dreams. It was the time to be discussing how much she would miss him and how lonely she would feel, like a part of her heart was gone, without him.
He listened patiently. Everything he did for her was done patiently.
"I mean I don't really get it, but when I saw the map of the street, I just became all giddy and nostalgic," she said. " I miss the community - their faces. It makes no sense." She paused to bite her lower lip like she always does when she feels insecure. "Sorry. I'll shut up now. It's silly."
And really, who was she to be talking about such things, especially when he was flying away in a few hours and on the verge of doing something really important. She had had her share of significant moments, and it seemed as though she was taking this one away from him by talking about her nonsensical dreams.
They sat in silence for a while. She waited for him to speak.
"I think I get it," he started. "It's like falling in love. You get that warm feeling every time you think of it. Only instead of falling in love with a person, you're in love with a place, one where you obviously fit and that fits you."
She blushed and then nodded. "Yes," she admitted. Then she blurted, "It isn't very pretty there," as if she were trying to belittle what all of a sudden felt like an indiscretion. "When people think of their ideal location, this place doesn't even make the long list."
"People don't always fall in love with the prettiest person in the room. Love isn't about that," he reminded her.
"But what about you?" she protested. "What if the place I love isn't the same one you love. Where is the place you love? We should go there."
"I used to feel like it was here." he sighed. "Now I'm not sure.." He paused. "Also, though, I do know that next to you is the place I love, wherever that is. I can build community anywhere."
"But that's not fair," she said. "This shouldn't be about me."
"You can't always help who you fall in love with, or where," he said. "Sometimes love works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's possible and sometimes it's not. We'll see what happens."
"But it seems so far away," she thought to herself.
He took her hand, knowing that she was uncertain. Anxious.
A feeling of warmth for him enveloped her- his understanding of all the quirks, his support of things that mattered to her, his enduring patience. And now he was going. She dropped him at the terminal, leaving him, with kisses, to his adventure, without her.
As she drove away, she bit her lower lip.
He listened patiently. Everything he did for her was done patiently.
"I mean I don't really get it, but when I saw the map of the street, I just became all giddy and nostalgic," she said. " I miss the community - their faces. It makes no sense." She paused to bite her lower lip like she always does when she feels insecure. "Sorry. I'll shut up now. It's silly."
And really, who was she to be talking about such things, especially when he was flying away in a few hours and on the verge of doing something really important. She had had her share of significant moments, and it seemed as though she was taking this one away from him by talking about her nonsensical dreams.
They sat in silence for a while. She waited for him to speak.
"I think I get it," he started. "It's like falling in love. You get that warm feeling every time you think of it. Only instead of falling in love with a person, you're in love with a place, one where you obviously fit and that fits you."
She blushed and then nodded. "Yes," she admitted. Then she blurted, "It isn't very pretty there," as if she were trying to belittle what all of a sudden felt like an indiscretion. "When people think of their ideal location, this place doesn't even make the long list."
"People don't always fall in love with the prettiest person in the room. Love isn't about that," he reminded her.
"But what about you?" she protested. "What if the place I love isn't the same one you love. Where is the place you love? We should go there."
"I used to feel like it was here." he sighed. "Now I'm not sure.." He paused. "Also, though, I do know that next to you is the place I love, wherever that is. I can build community anywhere."
"But that's not fair," she said. "This shouldn't be about me."
"You can't always help who you fall in love with, or where," he said. "Sometimes love works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's possible and sometimes it's not. We'll see what happens."
"But it seems so far away," she thought to herself.
He took her hand, knowing that she was uncertain. Anxious.
A feeling of warmth for him enveloped her- his understanding of all the quirks, his support of things that mattered to her, his enduring patience. And now he was going. She dropped him at the terminal, leaving him, with kisses, to his adventure, without her.
As she drove away, she bit her lower lip.
5 comments:
- Christine said...
-
Rich rocks, and so do you.
- July 5, 2009 at 11:16 PM
- Sandy said...
-
I'm listening.....
- July 6, 2009 at 7:10 AM
- Amy said...
-
This was a great post. I loved it. Great writing.
- July 6, 2009 at 8:23 AM
- msprimadonna67 said...
-
Oh, that is just beautiful!
- July 9, 2009 at 6:17 PM
- Happy Fun Pants said...
-
Amen to Christine.
You guys are fantastic.
Oh - and you have one helluva gift in writing. - July 12, 2009 at 11:12 PM
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5 comments:
Rich rocks, and so do you.
I'm listening.....
This was a great post. I loved it. Great writing.
Oh, that is just beautiful!
Amen to Christine.
You guys are fantastic.
Oh - and you have one helluva gift in writing.
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