With Crime and Punishment For All

Plinky asks, "What activity should be considered a crime? Explain why this behavior should not be tolerated and describe a fitting punishment."

Dante's Inferno, the first part of The Divine Comedy, describes the worst crimes committed by the worst sinners, and then he details the specific punishments for each of those crimes. He says the worst sin/crime known to man is when a person is a traitor to his master. That's why Satan sits in Dante's frozen hell, flapping his six wings to keep the place icy (as should be the place that is absent of light and love), chewing on the likes of Brutus, Cassius, and Judas Iscariot. Dante felt that betrayal was certainly worse than those that our Western society seems to be hung up on - suicide, abortion, murder, and homosexuality**. Though we are likely to nod at several of Dante's suggestions, we have to remember that he was also very political and actually named names when talking about some crimes and punishments - not so Christ-like, I'm afraid.

We obviously must talk about Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment when Plinky suggests that we do. In it, the main character, Raskolnikov, commits a double murder while in a deranged state. His punishment is existence itself. Rather it is living with his own troubled conscience.

For Meursault in The Stranger, the crime again is murder, though really he is tried for apathy - not crying at his mother's funeral; the punishment is that he is "beheaded in the name of the French government" which is not nearly as bad a punishment to him as is being deprived of a cigarette and sex while in jail. Eventually, even those thing are of little consequence. After all, everyone dies eventually, right? Why is execution better or worse than any other death?

For Shakespeare's overexposed couple, Romeo and Juliet, love and naivete make up the crime and the absence of that love is the punishment. Death joins them in the end. In The Tragedy of Macbeth, Macbeth is too ambitious. It's death and delusion for him. Lear favors the wrong daughters and goes insane. Hamlet's crime is revenge, also punishable by all encompassing death - no one, not the criminal nor the innocent, makes it in the end.

In real life, Martin Luther King said that the biggest crime committed in society is inaction. In many speeches and writings he says that folks who turn blind eyes to injustice are the criminals. I suppose his crime was speaking the truth that many were reluctant to hear. His punishment was being forced to leave this world before his dream was realized. Society's punishment was the loss of a very wise man, their crime being apathy.

And on and on and on.

The point of me going over all of this is to say my answer is I don't know. Literary geniuses have gone over this in many, many works. There is no conclusive answer. Murder, of course, is bad. Rape is horrendous. And still I'm inclined to say that apathy is the most ruinous because apathy can literally kill millions - (See Darfur, for reference). But then, ambition and greed, crimes that are lesser ones in our culture, can have a similar result.

I vote, instead, that we take the wisdom of those who have spent time pondering such things with a grain of salt, and focus, rather, on the things we can do for each other. Maybe if more of us wholly invested ourselves in our metaphorical gardens, taking care of our families and our communities, there would be less crime to think about, and less punishment to inflict.


* the other parts being Purgatorio and Paradiso, don't-cha know
** Apart from murder, our society has no business persecuting or prosecuting these "crimes". Shouldn't we focus on helping and loving each other? Why are we so fucking stuck in what we call 'righteousness', when really our agenda embodies exclusion and hate!?

How did you get here?

Here? As in in this closet? I can tell you I got here with no help from the margarita. (As in: Despite the margarita, I successfully made it here.) Seriously. I don't really remember the last twenty seconds. This is what happens on a day when the newscaster says (and I quote in a Vince Fontaine "hand jive announcing" tone), "Today we will probably see one of the top twelve worst storms of the season. Sustained, ground traveling tornadoes are likely, as is golf ball sized hail. Keep it tuned in to this channel (kids) to find out when and where devastation might strike at your house!" (wink and grin)

Look. We live in an age when everything is sensationalized. I think the first time I was aware of over-enthusiastic reporting about horrible happenings was when I watched us go to war with Iraq the first time - Operation Desert Storm. We watched news casts that looked like a game of Missile Command - green lines falling to the earth and then a white blast. We learned that we were fighting the inferior "scud missiles" with the more important, more American (stand at attention) "patriot missiles." In all of my pubescent wisdom and naivete, I wrote melodramatic entries in my diary about this being the "first time our country was really at war in my lifetime" (because the Cold War was so, like, totally not even a war) and "I just hoped that God would spare all of our boys from 'those people' who only knew how to make silly sounding 'scuds' and who surrendered with tears in their eyes (and sand) at the sight Old Glory." And then I would break into a tear jerking rendition of Glory Glory Hallelujah.

What a bonehead! At least I can use the "hey, I was a teenager" argument and get a reprieve for all of my adolescent years. Unfortunately, I couldn't use that excuse when FOX was interrupting the regularly scheduled programs during the second Iraq war - Operation it didn't work the first time, hey guess what, we're back!

A newscaster in Iraq wearing army desert fatigues, night goggles, and a gas mask sitting atop his head would cut-in to yell curtly into his microphone, "There are no bombs dropping at the moment. But if they were ( and he would lower his mask, breathing into it: hoooo-scheee), we would have to wear these masks and dig a trench in the ground, bury ourselves prostrate, and pray to Old Glory. (Hoooo-scheeeee) I repeat. Nothing is happening. We are not on red alert. But someday we might be (hooo-scheee). Luckily I have these night vision goggles, and through them I can clearly see (hoooo-scheee) that nothing is happening. But it might. Soon. So you in America should seek shelter." And a blinking RED crawler that indicated we were NOT on red alert would flash across the bottom of the screen, a tactic that indeed did make me seek shelter in my closet and, more importantly, a prescription for Paxil.

I wish I could say that I've grown out of the sensationalized media. I at least choose to bypass FOX, unless I'm in need of a good laugh.

But today is tornado day, and that means I get to take my laptop into my closet, sip margaritas to, er, calm down, and write. Until an actual siren goes off (the same siren that would indicate we are being bombed and need goggles and gas masks), I suppose I kind of like being here.

What will you do when the zombies come?

Hang a banker? I think that's the right response. It is according to these folks:


And the follow up newscast:


*Thanks to Mark for the links.
For more visit
http://www.g-20meltdown.org
http://newsov.org

I don't know why the comments don't work when I post videos.. If you want to comment on this one and don't have the option, leave it on the previous post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

List five things to do before you die.

Every time I see a prompt like this I start with, "Does someone know something I don't know about my death?" which then leads to, "How much time do I have left, because if it's a lot I might list more grandiose things. If not, I'll be sure to list relatively attainable things so that I can check them off the list and then feel fulfilled."

And therein lies the problem. Shouldn't dreams be attainable ones, or should we say (and lie to ourselves a little) that we can do anything - that all things, big and small are within reach?

My students were taught "You can do anything you set your mind to." And then rainbows and kittens shoot out of their asses. When I hear them say this, I usually cough "bullshit" under my breath. Today it came out as "That's a bunch of crap. You can't do anything you set your mind to!"

They countered with (and I'm not kidding with this), "Ms. Haag! Why do you have to be such a Negative Nancy!"

"OK, first of all, where did you find the time machine that took you back to the time period when people (moms) said 'Negative Nancy?," I rhetorically asked, "and secondly, I'm not being negative. I'm being truthful. You cannot be or do anything you want. It's called the real world, gang. Welcome to it."

They acted like I had just told them the truth about the Tooth Fairy - that their parents were not the Tooth Fairy's 'helpers' at all, that they had been tricked into believing something completely and utterly bogus - like believing that one can be anything he or she wants, for example.

They mumbled that no matter what I said, they actually could do anything. I think they were kicking rocks down the street in their imaginations. I mean, how dare someone - a teacher, no less - tell them that they can't be whatever they want!

I said, "Look. I would love to be a professional musician. But it's not going to happen. I don't have the talent."

"Well, get to practicing, Mrs. Haag, and you can be," one said. "Plus, you're Ms. Haag!" said another bright-eyed boy, as if I really were the beloved, magical Tooth Fairy in a shabby teacher disguise.

May I remind you that I teach seniors? These "kids" are 17 and 18 years old - eligible to vote and to carry a weapon for the US military.

I suppose there is still some illusion about what they can and can't do. For example, they believe they are invincible and can race a car at 100 mph in traffic and not hurt anyone. They believe that they don't have to do any classwork and still graduate (they aren't too far off on this one, thanks to our lovely education system). So maybe it isn't such a leap to think that they can one day snap their fingers and be superheros and rock stars and professional athletes.

But I think it is irrational and counterproductive, even, to tell them they can do or be anything, because doesn't that immediately set them up for certain failure? I might be more amendable to using the word "try" instead of "do" or "be." Maybe.

The conversation pretty much ended with me saying, "Um OK," seeing as I was obviously going nowhere fast.

All of this occurred to me as I was thinking of my list of 5 things just now.

So here they are, grain of salt included:

1. Climb Maccu Piccu
2. Live in a different country for a while
3. Learn how to play the guitar
4. Raise a kind, mindful son
5. Become as magical and inspirational as the Tooth Fairy

Now that I have sufficiently stomped your dreams and aspirations into the ground, what are your five things?

Plink Post - A Feature!

Congratulations! You're going to be featured in the next issue of Sports Illustrated. How does your bio read?

Name: Gingerly Tiptoeing-Through (but also of the Stumble persuasion)

Sex: More often in the summertime

Date of Birth: It happened one Fall morning, and each day she's trying to be worthy of it.

Of Note:
* Writing: Won a writing contest - Barbara Bush's Just Say No To Drugs Essay Contest - in 7th grade. She made up her sob story and was rewarded for it. This was the start of many embellishments.

* Sports: See above and below

* Fitness: Was a badass once upon a time, but has gone the au-naturale route since baby B'Hat was born nine months ago. (Au-naturale meaning mostly sitting somewhere nice, sipping coffee and/or Merlot, and on the best days, both at the same time.)

* Glamor: Buying too much racy-lacy lingerie and too many pairs of red shoes. This might be considered a new glorious breed of Sass-itude or it is a completely mad insecurity. Either way, each day she can die comfortably knowing that the ME will most certainly be impressed, no matter what happens.

* Occupation: All consuming health hazard, yet sometimes lovely, especially in June.

*Personality: Only from 8:00 am-2:00 pm and then not again until 6:30 pm.

*Other: Glad to have had butt grabbed by a perfect stranger in an Amsterdam bar (story for another day); Is growing a vegetable garden.. in her dreams; Is terrible at walking on the beach (reminder of the horrible hammock incident of 2003 - again, story for another day); Birds sing specifically to her, when she is still enough.. which is rarely.

***Happy St. Patrick's Day! I hope you all have good craic today!!

Plink, and you'll miss it.

This is me making an attempt to live up to my word and try out a plinky topic. For this week, I've chosen this question:

What's one of the oldest buildings or landmarks you've seen?

I've done quite a bit of traveling and seen more than my fair share of (wonderfully) old stuff, but I think the oldest landmark I've ever seen is Hadrian's Wall. Actually, it may be The Colosseum in Rome. Pompeii? I'm not sure. They were all around at about the same time. Perhaps it's the Roman Baths in Bath, England, if you count the earliest temple there. But if we're counting sites that were once something else, then there are numerous places I've been by or near that are "new"monuments on top of "old" landmarks.. I suppose I should include Stonehenge, though I've only driven by it thanks to Foot and Mouth disease.

In short. I don't know!

But I'm glad to have remembered some of my travels. I miss them so much it hurts.

Plinky Dink

Hey, look over there on the left hand margin - under the B'Hat trick. There is a feed from the Plinky site that poses a daily question. The topics might be fun to answer when the ol' blog tongue is tied. Everyday there should be a new question listed. I won't guarantee that I'll answer all of the prompts. My goal is at least one a week - maybe on Saturday mornings(?). Feel free to play along either by responding in a comment or on your own blog. FUN! :)