The Wildest Thing

This morning I woke up fierce. It's always dangerous when this happens. On fierce days I reach for my Ani DiFranco CD, wear black lace, and pretty much tell the world to "piss off." Today I even considered downing the rest of last night's leftover wine that had been sitting out on the counter all night. I thought better of it when I reasoned that I was off to work in a few minutes and would rather be in trouble there for something more satisfying instead of for having had a half glass of stale wine. Plus, though wine and coffee is a pretty rock-n-roll way to start the morning, I have to admit that my 30 something-year-old stomach blanched at the thought of mixing the two. On top of that, there was the bet that the cat may or may not have stuck his head in glass during the night, as he is known to do to various open-mouthed glasses. I was unwilling to lose that bet.

Anyway, fierce days remind me of something that I know is in the core of who I am - that part that can be willed to break free from responsibility (Revolution Now!), the one that asks, "what if I..?" followed by, "Damn the consequence!"

I've never been a wild person, as my outward nature probably indicates. I mean I've done my share of skinny dipping, pyramid climbing, and pith helmet wearing, and my passport could tell the story of many adventuresome days, as could many concert ticket stubs and cigarette butts. But honestly, those things don't seem particularly wild, and at the end of the day I'm still the girl who snuck out of her house once but left a note detailing where I would be in case my mother came in to check on me.

I never fully embrace the fierce. I imagine myself reaching for my combat boots sometimes and daydreaming about a place where poetry meets impurity.. (I can tell you what it looks like and also how it smells)..but I always, in the end, throw on sensible heels and expectation. Part of me really hates that - the suppression - and wants to blur the line, but ..

This post was inspired by the Loose Bloggers Consortium, a small and feisty(!) global community. We write weekly on a common topic (The Wildest Thing I've Done in my Youth, this week) and post responses - all of us together, simultaneously, from all over the world. (Lovely!) Please visit Anu, Conrad, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria and Ramana for other wonderful posts.