Saturday, May 9, 2009

My drug of choice? KERA

I watched the Antiques Road Show on KERA the other night and learned that if you live in Texas, your heirloom valuables should come, NOT from those hard workers who made do with the dusty land they beat into submission to survive, but from Europe, hopefully France. That is unless your grandfather played professional baseball for an out of state team, preferably the one that had Joe DiMaggio on the batting list. Also, it is imperative that your grandfather had the forethought to get his most important teammates' autographs, photographs, DNA samples, and a list of their favorite warm-up songs, and then compile this data neatly in an air resistant scrapbook.

It turns out my possessions are highly expendable.

The following night I watched a KERA documentary on "the true stories" of World War II which focused especially on the rocky relationship between Stalin and Hitler and then on the one between Stalin and Churchill when Hitler turned out to be a two faced back stabber. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that Hitler was a bad friend. I was surprised to learn that Stalin was, in a previous life, the girl in a particularly moving After School Special who just wanted to fit in but couldn't because the popular girls made fun of his naivete and, apparently, his training bra. I learned that this type of trauma leads to indescriminant.. er descriminant exections and that Soviet winter is bad, until it stops Nazis, in which case it is good.

I also know, thanks to KERA, that Abe Lincoln may or may not have had a degenerative disease which may or may not have caused him to be so wonderfully radical. I made the mistake of saying this out loud to a group of students who eagerly agreed that, "that boy ain't right just like Kennedy ain't right and neither is Obama". I then wished I had the same disease Lincoln had so that I could emancipate myself from their presence. Plus, I've always wanted to be tall.

So one of three things is happening:

a. KERA is no longer dry and boring, but is a really interesting, poignant part of my evening ritual.

b. My TV only receives one channel, and in this economy, who can afford cable?

c. I have a mild case of the H1N1 Flu and a scoch of insomnia on the side.

The answer, as one can obviously conclude from process of elimination, is C. (KERA is still freaking boring, so much so that I have to remind myself to blink; and I would pay the cable bill before I pay my mortgage.)

As for the flu part - perhaps I'm overreacting. I do have at least a cold that keeps me in Kleenex all day long. This isn't pleasant, especially in times of pandemic. Passersby take one look at my red nose and cross the street while tightening their surgical masks and speed dialing the CDC.

As for the insomnia - I haven't slept well in weeks. That part I am not exaggerating. There's a lot going on these days..

But not to worry. KERA is doing it's damnedest to lull me back into that beautiful, peaceful REM cycle. It's starting to work, I think. It may take effect any day now.

11 comments:

tara said...

I find that ESPN helps me sleep. My husband turns it on and I am out quickly. That or one of those documentaries on the Science/Discovery/NatGeo channel that sounds like an elementary school film strip.

There is plenty of stuff on all of those channel that is interesting. I don't know why they must pepper in the film strip narrator stuff.

I hope you are well quickly, and that no one blames you for the Swine.

Jen said...

Sorry to hear you have a cold. I had one too a couple of weeks ago and it sucked! I know what you mean about the people getting a little freaked! I had a coughing fit the other day in the teachers lounge and I basically cleared the room!!

Hope you feel better!!

Christine said...

That pararaph about Lincoln is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Thanks. :)

Amy said...

I hope you feel better soon. Happy Mother's Day.

rich said...

We have been watching more KERA than usual… Which is proof that we weren’t really watching. Why is it that public television can make anything sooooo boring? I’ve found myself riveted by an hour long documentary about shipping containers on the History Channel. (Yes, I know I’m a big nerd – no news story there.) But KERA could make porn dull.

丽英 said...

Swine Flue!Can’t shopping!?
Come here:http://www.gobrandmall.com
Just stay at home,saving money and own the best things.
We mainly supply Jordan,Nike,Puma and other sneakers,
Including Jordan 2009 and other 2009 new styles of shoes.
LV,GUCCI,PRADA,FENDI and other luxurious handbags.
Save up to 80%.
Our website is construction now,the products will update in these days.
If you want to buy any sneakers that don’t exist in it,please feel free to contact me,we will try best to meet your demand.
Free shipping in these days.
Welcome!

Amy said...

Happy Mother's day

Noah's Mommy said...

Love this....post....It's amazing really...the older I get...the more I watch PBS....and antiques roadshow...totally agree....my stuff...worth nothing..lol...Happy SITS day

Jennifer Juniper said...

Sending sleepy wishes your way for tonight!

Karen said...

Just stopping by from SITS to say hello. Your blog is really cool! Thanks for letting me visit!

the girls' moma said...

Hey girl, hope you are ok. I miss you. The girls and I want to come see you guys soon. Coley specifically asked that on Sunday. Thought you might like to know.

Kisses to Jack.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

My drug of choice? KERA

I watched the Antiques Road Show on KERA the other night and learned that if you live in Texas, your heirloom valuables should come, NOT from those hard workers who made do with the dusty land they beat into submission to survive, but from Europe, hopefully France. That is unless your grandfather played professional baseball for an out of state team, preferably the one that had Joe DiMaggio on the batting list. Also, it is imperative that your grandfather had the forethought to get his most important teammates' autographs, photographs, DNA samples, and a list of their favorite warm-up songs, and then compile this data neatly in an air resistant scrapbook.

It turns out my possessions are highly expendable.

The following night I watched a KERA documentary on "the true stories" of World War II which focused especially on the rocky relationship between Stalin and Hitler and then on the one between Stalin and Churchill when Hitler turned out to be a two faced back stabber. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that Hitler was a bad friend. I was surprised to learn that Stalin was, in a previous life, the girl in a particularly moving After School Special who just wanted to fit in but couldn't because the popular girls made fun of his naivete and, apparently, his training bra. I learned that this type of trauma leads to indescriminant.. er descriminant exections and that Soviet winter is bad, until it stops Nazis, in which case it is good.

I also know, thanks to KERA, that Abe Lincoln may or may not have had a degenerative disease which may or may not have caused him to be so wonderfully radical. I made the mistake of saying this out loud to a group of students who eagerly agreed that, "that boy ain't right just like Kennedy ain't right and neither is Obama". I then wished I had the same disease Lincoln had so that I could emancipate myself from their presence. Plus, I've always wanted to be tall.

So one of three things is happening:

a. KERA is no longer dry and boring, but is a really interesting, poignant part of my evening ritual.

b. My TV only receives one channel, and in this economy, who can afford cable?

c. I have a mild case of the H1N1 Flu and a scoch of insomnia on the side.

The answer, as one can obviously conclude from process of elimination, is C. (KERA is still freaking boring, so much so that I have to remind myself to blink; and I would pay the cable bill before I pay my mortgage.)

As for the flu part - perhaps I'm overreacting. I do have at least a cold that keeps me in Kleenex all day long. This isn't pleasant, especially in times of pandemic. Passersby take one look at my red nose and cross the street while tightening their surgical masks and speed dialing the CDC.

As for the insomnia - I haven't slept well in weeks. That part I am not exaggerating. There's a lot going on these days..

But not to worry. KERA is doing it's damnedest to lull me back into that beautiful, peaceful REM cycle. It's starting to work, I think. It may take effect any day now.

11 comments:

tara said...

I find that ESPN helps me sleep. My husband turns it on and I am out quickly. That or one of those documentaries on the Science/Discovery/NatGeo channel that sounds like an elementary school film strip.

There is plenty of stuff on all of those channel that is interesting. I don't know why they must pepper in the film strip narrator stuff.

I hope you are well quickly, and that no one blames you for the Swine.

Jen said...

Sorry to hear you have a cold. I had one too a couple of weeks ago and it sucked! I know what you mean about the people getting a little freaked! I had a coughing fit the other day in the teachers lounge and I basically cleared the room!!

Hope you feel better!!

Christine said...

That pararaph about Lincoln is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Thanks. :)

Amy said...

I hope you feel better soon. Happy Mother's Day.

rich said...

We have been watching more KERA than usual… Which is proof that we weren’t really watching. Why is it that public television can make anything sooooo boring? I’ve found myself riveted by an hour long documentary about shipping containers on the History Channel. (Yes, I know I’m a big nerd – no news story there.) But KERA could make porn dull.

丽英 said...

Swine Flue!Can’t shopping!?
Come here:http://www.gobrandmall.com
Just stay at home,saving money and own the best things.
We mainly supply Jordan,Nike,Puma and other sneakers,
Including Jordan 2009 and other 2009 new styles of shoes.
LV,GUCCI,PRADA,FENDI and other luxurious handbags.
Save up to 80%.
Our website is construction now,the products will update in these days.
If you want to buy any sneakers that don’t exist in it,please feel free to contact me,we will try best to meet your demand.
Free shipping in these days.
Welcome!

Amy said...

Happy Mother's day

Noah's Mommy said...

Love this....post....It's amazing really...the older I get...the more I watch PBS....and antiques roadshow...totally agree....my stuff...worth nothing..lol...Happy SITS day

Jennifer Juniper said...

Sending sleepy wishes your way for tonight!

Karen said...

Just stopping by from SITS to say hello. Your blog is really cool! Thanks for letting me visit!

the girls' moma said...

Hey girl, hope you are ok. I miss you. The girls and I want to come see you guys soon. Coley specifically asked that on Sunday. Thought you might like to know.

Kisses to Jack.