Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Define "Baby"
I may move to Nebraska in 12 years. It turns out that they have a law that allows mothers to drop off their unwanted babies at the fire station, but the law is not specific about how old the "baby" can or, rather, cannot be. Because of this "loop hole", mothers across the state and beyond are dropping off their unruly teenagers.
"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.
Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.
And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:
"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.
Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:
I actually stopped and said,"Really?" Didn't anyone tell the younger generation that the 80's was a multi-track, multi-car train wreck with fatalities fashion wise? They apparently have no idea. But who am I to tell them? I had feathered bangs and leg warmers.
See, Mr. Landry? They're children. You are obligated to take them.
The fire stations will soon be packed.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sass
In light of the tanking economy, I've gone a little nuts. Instead of taking all of my money out of the bank and stuffing the cash into pillow cases, medicine bottles, and/or fake hairspray cans, I have been a little bit (more) irresponsible. I'm like Nero who played his fiddle as Rome burned, only we are in America and instead of playing a fiddle, I went shoe shopping. Welcome home darlings:
At least I'll go out stilletto style. And Rich will be happy, too.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I know this makes me embarrassing to all demographics:
I admit it. I was caught loudly singing the following song at what apparently was a very quiet intersection. My car was sandwiched between two others and in each were people much younger than me and much more likely to thump the bass as they reclined at the wheel.. But whatever. You gotta live, yo. Plus, Madonna's hot, Justin helped to revive the beatbox (which we didn't know we missed until he brought it back to American music), and I pretty much like all of the music produced by Timbaland. So there you go..
The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..
The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Ulta - matum
I went to Ulta yesterday to get a foundation brush. This was the first makeup brush I've ever purchased, and I only bought one because I look and feel really tired these days and need some serious help. I figured that if my foundation was applied more evenly - in all the crevices of my face - then maybe I wouldn't look so much like a worn out 30 something high school teacher with a four month old baby at home. Did I mention I also have a cat? I do. I have a cat. I am a 30 something year old high school teaching cat lady with a baby. Not. So. Sexy.
Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.
In short, I am not that girl.
I've never been that girl.
So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!
And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.
I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.
Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.
But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.
Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.
Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.
In short, I am not that girl.
I've never been that girl.
So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!
And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.
I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.
Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.
But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.
Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Comfortable With Uncertainty
Christine, one of the dearest people on the planet to me and who knows me better than just about everyone, gave me a lovely book for my birthday. It is Pema Chodron's Comfortable With Uncertainty. The book is a compilation of practical mahayana Buddhist teachings/meditation practices intended to "lead us out of the world of self-preoccupation into the greater world of fellowship with all human beings."
I need this.
I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.
The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.
One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."
In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."
I need this.
I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.
The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.
One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."
In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."
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Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Define "Baby"
I may move to Nebraska in 12 years. It turns out that they have a law that allows mothers to drop off their unwanted babies at the fire station, but the law is not specific about how old the "baby" can or, rather, cannot be. Because of this "loop hole", mothers across the state and beyond are dropping off their unruly teenagers.
"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.
Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.
And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:
"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.
Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:
I actually stopped and said,"Really?" Didn't anyone tell the younger generation that the 80's was a multi-track, multi-car train wreck with fatalities fashion wise? They apparently have no idea. But who am I to tell them? I had feathered bangs and leg warmers.
See, Mr. Landry? They're children. You are obligated to take them.
The fire stations will soon be packed.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sass
In light of the tanking economy, I've gone a little nuts. Instead of taking all of my money out of the bank and stuffing the cash into pillow cases, medicine bottles, and/or fake hairspray cans, I have been a little bit (more) irresponsible. I'm like Nero who played his fiddle as Rome burned, only we are in America and instead of playing a fiddle, I went shoe shopping. Welcome home darlings:
At least I'll go out stilletto style. And Rich will be happy, too.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I know this makes me embarrassing to all demographics:
I admit it. I was caught loudly singing the following song at what apparently was a very quiet intersection. My car was sandwiched between two others and in each were people much younger than me and much more likely to thump the bass as they reclined at the wheel.. But whatever. You gotta live, yo. Plus, Madonna's hot, Justin helped to revive the beatbox (which we didn't know we missed until he brought it back to American music), and I pretty much like all of the music produced by Timbaland. So there you go..
The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..
The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Ulta - matum
I went to Ulta yesterday to get a foundation brush. This was the first makeup brush I've ever purchased, and I only bought one because I look and feel really tired these days and need some serious help. I figured that if my foundation was applied more evenly - in all the crevices of my face - then maybe I wouldn't look so much like a worn out 30 something high school teacher with a four month old baby at home. Did I mention I also have a cat? I do. I have a cat. I am a 30 something year old high school teaching cat lady with a baby. Not. So. Sexy.
Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.
In short, I am not that girl.
I've never been that girl.
So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!
And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.
I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.
Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.
But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.
Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.
Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.
In short, I am not that girl.
I've never been that girl.
So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!
And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.
I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.
Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.
But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.
Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Comfortable With Uncertainty
Christine, one of the dearest people on the planet to me and who knows me better than just about everyone, gave me a lovely book for my birthday. It is Pema Chodron's Comfortable With Uncertainty. The book is a compilation of practical mahayana Buddhist teachings/meditation practices intended to "lead us out of the world of self-preoccupation into the greater world of fellowship with all human beings."
I need this.
I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.
The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.
One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."
In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."
I need this.
I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.
The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.
One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."
In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."
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