1:00 - Fussy baby. Time to go.
Rationale - Baby will fall asleep on car ride home, will wake up in time for snack.
2:00 - One hour in. Five to go. Baby has napped for 30 minutes. Stop at Dairy Queen in nondescript town for a Blizzard fix.
Rationale: We only treat ourselves to Blizzards on road trips. We more than deserve this one, plus it is an opportunity to get milk for the baby so he'll go back to sleep.
3:00 - Baby not asleep. Break out the snacks.
Rationale: Baby will eat a healthy snack and will go to sleep when full. No fast food for him.
4:00 - Baby not asleep. Momma crawls into the backseat to entertain fussy baby. In 20 miles is a rest area.. no in 40 miles. Still, we will stop no matter what.. unless the baby falls asleep.
Rationale: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has stopped working. We have to do something.
4:40 - Rest area break. Play on playground but "Caution. Watch for Rattlesnakes." We play anyway.
Rationale: Surely rattlesnakes won't be out today.. Surely.. Plus playing will make the baby tired, right?
6:00 - We should stop for dinner, unless baby is asleep. Or unless he is pacified, in which case we will continue with the healthy snacks and will soldier on.
Rationale: There would only be one hour left in the trip. It would be ridiculous to stop for dinner and then wrestle the baby back into the car seat that he REALLY REALLY hates at the moment.
6:30 - We soldiered on. It was a mistake. Traffic is at a standstill because of an accident. We can almost see home. We should take the nearest exit, but we won't.
Rationale: Where the hell does the exit lead? It's better to be safe, even though it will take longer than expected to get home and the baby is STILL not asleep and is cranky from being hungry and tired.
6:45 - Still stopped. On an overpass. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Why didn't we take the goddamn exit? The baby is SCREAMING. I beg husband (who is now the passenger)to do something.
Rationale: Mental breakdown is coming.
7:00 - Same overpass. Same stop. Baby is going to make himself sick with all of the crying. Momma starts crying.
Rationale: All hope is gone. We will never get home. We should've stopped for dinner. We should've taken the exit. Why did we go on this fu*king trip, anyway? In-laws? Why am I even married. Life is ridiculous. And why haven't the police even attempted to direct traffic? This is bullshit.
7:10 - OK. We're calm.
Rationale: At least we're not the ones in the accident.
7:15 - We're moving. Go go go go go.
Rationale: Try not to speed. Or miss any exits.
8:10 - We're home. Make quick and easy dinner. Change baby. Put him to bed. Enjoy glass of wine.Blog this.
Rationale: Phew. This wasn't the worst ride home ever. That was last year. And NaBloPoMo can suck it.
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Saturday, November 28, 2009
Drive Home - The short version
1:00 - Fussy baby. Time to go.
Rationale - Baby will fall asleep on car ride home, will wake up in time for snack.
2:00 - One hour in. Five to go. Baby has napped for 30 minutes. Stop at Dairy Queen in nondescript town for a Blizzard fix.
Rationale: We only treat ourselves to Blizzards on road trips. We more than deserve this one, plus it is an opportunity to get milk for the baby so he'll go back to sleep.
3:00 - Baby not asleep. Break out the snacks.
Rationale: Baby will eat a healthy snack and will go to sleep when full. No fast food for him.
4:00 - Baby not asleep. Momma crawls into the backseat to entertain fussy baby. In 20 miles is a rest area.. no in 40 miles. Still, we will stop no matter what.. unless the baby falls asleep.
Rationale: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has stopped working. We have to do something.
4:40 - Rest area break. Play on playground but "Caution. Watch for Rattlesnakes." We play anyway.
Rationale: Surely rattlesnakes won't be out today.. Surely.. Plus playing will make the baby tired, right?
6:00 - We should stop for dinner, unless baby is asleep. Or unless he is pacified, in which case we will continue with the healthy snacks and will soldier on.
Rationale: There would only be one hour left in the trip. It would be ridiculous to stop for dinner and then wrestle the baby back into the car seat that he REALLY REALLY hates at the moment.
6:30 - We soldiered on. It was a mistake. Traffic is at a standstill because of an accident. We can almost see home. We should take the nearest exit, but we won't.
Rationale: Where the hell does the exit lead? It's better to be safe, even though it will take longer than expected to get home and the baby is STILL not asleep and is cranky from being hungry and tired.
6:45 - Still stopped. On an overpass. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Why didn't we take the goddamn exit? The baby is SCREAMING. I beg husband (who is now the passenger)to do something.
Rationale: Mental breakdown is coming.
7:00 - Same overpass. Same stop. Baby is going to make himself sick with all of the crying. Momma starts crying.
Rationale: All hope is gone. We will never get home. We should've stopped for dinner. We should've taken the exit. Why did we go on this fu*king trip, anyway? In-laws? Why am I even married. Life is ridiculous. And why haven't the police even attempted to direct traffic? This is bullshit.
7:10 - OK. We're calm.
Rationale: At least we're not the ones in the accident.
7:15 - We're moving. Go go go go go.
Rationale: Try not to speed. Or miss any exits.
8:10 - We're home. Make quick and easy dinner. Change baby. Put him to bed. Enjoy glass of wine.Blog this.
Rationale: Phew. This wasn't the worst ride home ever. That was last year. And NaBloPoMo can suck it.
Rationale - Baby will fall asleep on car ride home, will wake up in time for snack.
2:00 - One hour in. Five to go. Baby has napped for 30 minutes. Stop at Dairy Queen in nondescript town for a Blizzard fix.
Rationale: We only treat ourselves to Blizzards on road trips. We more than deserve this one, plus it is an opportunity to get milk for the baby so he'll go back to sleep.
3:00 - Baby not asleep. Break out the snacks.
Rationale: Baby will eat a healthy snack and will go to sleep when full. No fast food for him.
4:00 - Baby not asleep. Momma crawls into the backseat to entertain fussy baby. In 20 miles is a rest area.. no in 40 miles. Still, we will stop no matter what.. unless the baby falls asleep.
Rationale: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has stopped working. We have to do something.
4:40 - Rest area break. Play on playground but "Caution. Watch for Rattlesnakes." We play anyway.
Rationale: Surely rattlesnakes won't be out today.. Surely.. Plus playing will make the baby tired, right?
6:00 - We should stop for dinner, unless baby is asleep. Or unless he is pacified, in which case we will continue with the healthy snacks and will soldier on.
Rationale: There would only be one hour left in the trip. It would be ridiculous to stop for dinner and then wrestle the baby back into the car seat that he REALLY REALLY hates at the moment.
6:30 - We soldiered on. It was a mistake. Traffic is at a standstill because of an accident. We can almost see home. We should take the nearest exit, but we won't.
Rationale: Where the hell does the exit lead? It's better to be safe, even though it will take longer than expected to get home and the baby is STILL not asleep and is cranky from being hungry and tired.
6:45 - Still stopped. On an overpass. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Why didn't we take the goddamn exit? The baby is SCREAMING. I beg husband (who is now the passenger)to do something.
Rationale: Mental breakdown is coming.
7:00 - Same overpass. Same stop. Baby is going to make himself sick with all of the crying. Momma starts crying.
Rationale: All hope is gone. We will never get home. We should've stopped for dinner. We should've taken the exit. Why did we go on this fu*king trip, anyway? In-laws? Why am I even married. Life is ridiculous. And why haven't the police even attempted to direct traffic? This is bullshit.
7:10 - OK. We're calm.
Rationale: At least we're not the ones in the accident.
7:15 - We're moving. Go go go go go.
Rationale: Try not to speed. Or miss any exits.
8:10 - We're home. Make quick and easy dinner. Change baby. Put him to bed. Enjoy glass of wine.Blog this.
Rationale: Phew. This wasn't the worst ride home ever. That was last year. And NaBloPoMo can suck it.
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1 comment:
Sorry you did not have a fun road trip..
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