Saturday, August 29, 2009

Where we are lacking

It occurred to me yesterday as I spoke on the phone to various members of my family, that even though our bodies may be aged 30 or 60 or 75 years and though throughout those years we may have earned titles such as Mrs., dad, and/or spouse, none of us knows what the hell we're doing, especially when confronted with death.

Saying good bye is never on our lists of things to do; it's never an agenda item or something we practice. I suppose that's a good thing, but the result is that we're incredibly bad at it - all those years of life experience and titles mean nothing all of a sudden. Good byes level the playing field. We're all flailing and helpless.

6 comments:

rainbow said...

Death is something we never want to think about, or talk about but it is something we definatly need to settle in our own mind. I am really having a hard time with it right now. Thursday I attended the first Funeral that I really don't know where she will be going. She was a very good person and a pleasure to work with. I learn now she was going through a very bad time with a divorce and loosing custody of her two remaining children and it apears she was atempting suacide in her car, I don't see how this could be. Not only did it kill her (in her car) but a 19 year old girl in the pick up she hit and critically injured 3 other young women. This is not what Beca would do. It has to be just a horable accident, but we do not know. What could I have said to her to HELP her out or be comfort to her in her time of need. My prayer will always be "LORD open my eyes to those around me and let me HELP when I can."
Thank you so much for this post, Believe it or not I really feel better about all this going on and know some GOOD is going to come out of all this stuff.
Good byes are a little easier to handle when it is really "See you later" that we are saying.

Amy said...

I hope all is fine with you. Death is pretty scary for sure.

Jen said...

Ginger, I hope everything is ok with you and your family. You are so right, one never really knows what to say when looking at death. Please let me know if you need anything!! Love you!

Mimi said...

Yeah, I think one reason we have so much trouble with death is that it reminds us that our own death is closer than we may like to admit.

I really hope everything is okay with you and your family...I send my sincerest regards.

Mariam

Geeta said...

How true is that. In those times, memories are the greatest comfort in the world. They're like a warm blanket on a blustery evening. You have to let them emcompass you, surround you, and, forever how brief or long a moment it may be, protect you from the chill the loss of your loved one has stirred up.

Until, one day, the sun will shine again, and you'll be able to venture out and have those memories as, instead of the warm blanket you need to get you by, rays of sunshine that keep your days all the brighter.

That, and hugs seem to help an awful lot. I've learned that words are often useless though...

Laura ♥ said...

I completely agree Ginger. Death, and the grieving process in general, is so difficult.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Where we are lacking

It occurred to me yesterday as I spoke on the phone to various members of my family, that even though our bodies may be aged 30 or 60 or 75 years and though throughout those years we may have earned titles such as Mrs., dad, and/or spouse, none of us knows what the hell we're doing, especially when confronted with death.

Saying good bye is never on our lists of things to do; it's never an agenda item or something we practice. I suppose that's a good thing, but the result is that we're incredibly bad at it - all those years of life experience and titles mean nothing all of a sudden. Good byes level the playing field. We're all flailing and helpless.

6 comments:

rainbow said...

Death is something we never want to think about, or talk about but it is something we definatly need to settle in our own mind. I am really having a hard time with it right now. Thursday I attended the first Funeral that I really don't know where she will be going. She was a very good person and a pleasure to work with. I learn now she was going through a very bad time with a divorce and loosing custody of her two remaining children and it apears she was atempting suacide in her car, I don't see how this could be. Not only did it kill her (in her car) but a 19 year old girl in the pick up she hit and critically injured 3 other young women. This is not what Beca would do. It has to be just a horable accident, but we do not know. What could I have said to her to HELP her out or be comfort to her in her time of need. My prayer will always be "LORD open my eyes to those around me and let me HELP when I can."
Thank you so much for this post, Believe it or not I really feel better about all this going on and know some GOOD is going to come out of all this stuff.
Good byes are a little easier to handle when it is really "See you later" that we are saying.

Amy said...

I hope all is fine with you. Death is pretty scary for sure.

Jen said...

Ginger, I hope everything is ok with you and your family. You are so right, one never really knows what to say when looking at death. Please let me know if you need anything!! Love you!

Mimi said...

Yeah, I think one reason we have so much trouble with death is that it reminds us that our own death is closer than we may like to admit.

I really hope everything is okay with you and your family...I send my sincerest regards.

Mariam

Geeta said...

How true is that. In those times, memories are the greatest comfort in the world. They're like a warm blanket on a blustery evening. You have to let them emcompass you, surround you, and, forever how brief or long a moment it may be, protect you from the chill the loss of your loved one has stirred up.

Until, one day, the sun will shine again, and you'll be able to venture out and have those memories as, instead of the warm blanket you need to get you by, rays of sunshine that keep your days all the brighter.

That, and hugs seem to help an awful lot. I've learned that words are often useless though...

Laura ♥ said...

I completely agree Ginger. Death, and the grieving process in general, is so difficult.