Thursday, August 27, 2009

Substance free is (apparently) the choice for me

I'll never be a true writer.

Or maybe I will, but if it happens, it will be during a time when a.) I'm less of a navel gazer and/or b.) when I actually have something worth saying. But either way, it's frustrating. I want to write something significant - of value and substance. I mean if Jenny McCarthy can write about her vagina, a topic that is apparently extremely interesting to many people, so much so that hers is one of the first books pregnant women buy, then why can't I find my voice?

I take it back. I have a voice. Most people define it as "weird" or "unconventional". I guess that's ok. I mean Gonzo style writing is fucking edgy! Definitely unconventional. And you have to use the word 'fucking' when talking about anything involving Hunter S. Thompson. Except for the constant drug use and random blowing up of shit, I'm secretly in love with him. I'd be more than ok with being called a Hunter Thompson kind of weird.

Unfortunately, I'm certain that people call me weird as in Luna Lovegood weird. She's sweet and all, but she sees things that aren't there and she's constantly losing her shoes.

In spite of my Luna Lovegoodness, I had a couple of ideas for writing projects. I refuse to call them novels because that intimidating word immediately blocks any creative wisp that may float across my brow. But I always dream up ideas during times when I've escaped from my life - in the mountains of New Mexico, for example, or alone in a coffee house. When reality hits, I abandon the projects because honestly, who has time to really focus on anything except reality? And I love my reality - my family and friends, for example, and even my job (most days) - but it leaves no time for dreaming, much less writing.

So, I'll never be a writer, especially now that I have expectations about what it is I need to help me find something substantive to say.

Any suggestions?

6 comments:

Jen said...

I think you are an amazing writer! I don't have much to say as far as suggestions on what to write but I think if anyone could be a novelist, it's you! You've always been the one with a great imagination! As kids you could totally convince me that someone was in house lurking in dark shadows!! Ha!! Remember that??

Maybe one day you'll be an author and I can say, I know her!! We played in the dirt together when she was four and I was three!!

I have no idea why I am reminiscing so much today!! I guess maybe because I Miss you and LOVE ya!!

James said...

As our good friend Rainer Maria Rilke once said in Letters to Young Poet, "...seek those which your own everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, passing thoughts and belief in some sort of beauty – describe all these with loving, quiet, humble sincerity, and use, to express yourself, the things in your environment, the images from your dreams, and the objects of your memories. If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself..."

Tammy Howard said...

I have similar aspirations.

I tried to write something fictional about a year ago. It was such a pile of shit - I couldn't believe I'd produced it. Recently I wrote a fairy story for my daughters and my niece. They love it and think there's something there. All I can think is "children's book - how cliche". I - too - want to write something meaningful. And - at least for now - it ain't gonna happen.

Hunter S. Thompson. As portrayed by Johnny Depp... And Luna Lovegood - Luna is wonderful! Embrace your Luna!!!

Tammy Howard said...

There will be an award for you on my blog Saturday morning... (I know this because I can see into the future)

slacker-chick said...

I don't think you have to look too far to find something important or substantial. If you write about what interests you it will interest others. We already know you are a good writer and have a unique "voice" so, when you are ready, you can do it.

(I would listen to my own advice if I weren't so lazy.) ;->

happyfunpants said...

First, I am SO sorry this response is so delayed! I've been so backlogged on blogs, it isn't even funny.

But what I do want to echo is Jen's response. I think you're an amazing writer - full of substance, depth, and vision.

I think you're inspirational. In fact, you always inspire me. Like, when I read your blog I'm all "Well, I wrote about farts and Ginger is writing about world peace." But I'm not even down on myself about it - I'm just so glad that I know you - someone who is actually THINKING of stuff that is worthy of being thought of.

Not that farts aren't.

Oh, forget it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Substance free is (apparently) the choice for me

I'll never be a true writer.

Or maybe I will, but if it happens, it will be during a time when a.) I'm less of a navel gazer and/or b.) when I actually have something worth saying. But either way, it's frustrating. I want to write something significant - of value and substance. I mean if Jenny McCarthy can write about her vagina, a topic that is apparently extremely interesting to many people, so much so that hers is one of the first books pregnant women buy, then why can't I find my voice?

I take it back. I have a voice. Most people define it as "weird" or "unconventional". I guess that's ok. I mean Gonzo style writing is fucking edgy! Definitely unconventional. And you have to use the word 'fucking' when talking about anything involving Hunter S. Thompson. Except for the constant drug use and random blowing up of shit, I'm secretly in love with him. I'd be more than ok with being called a Hunter Thompson kind of weird.

Unfortunately, I'm certain that people call me weird as in Luna Lovegood weird. She's sweet and all, but she sees things that aren't there and she's constantly losing her shoes.

In spite of my Luna Lovegoodness, I had a couple of ideas for writing projects. I refuse to call them novels because that intimidating word immediately blocks any creative wisp that may float across my brow. But I always dream up ideas during times when I've escaped from my life - in the mountains of New Mexico, for example, or alone in a coffee house. When reality hits, I abandon the projects because honestly, who has time to really focus on anything except reality? And I love my reality - my family and friends, for example, and even my job (most days) - but it leaves no time for dreaming, much less writing.

So, I'll never be a writer, especially now that I have expectations about what it is I need to help me find something substantive to say.

Any suggestions?

6 comments:

Jen said...

I think you are an amazing writer! I don't have much to say as far as suggestions on what to write but I think if anyone could be a novelist, it's you! You've always been the one with a great imagination! As kids you could totally convince me that someone was in house lurking in dark shadows!! Ha!! Remember that??

Maybe one day you'll be an author and I can say, I know her!! We played in the dirt together when she was four and I was three!!

I have no idea why I am reminiscing so much today!! I guess maybe because I Miss you and LOVE ya!!

James said...

As our good friend Rainer Maria Rilke once said in Letters to Young Poet, "...seek those which your own everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, passing thoughts and belief in some sort of beauty – describe all these with loving, quiet, humble sincerity, and use, to express yourself, the things in your environment, the images from your dreams, and the objects of your memories. If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself..."

Tammy Howard said...

I have similar aspirations.

I tried to write something fictional about a year ago. It was such a pile of shit - I couldn't believe I'd produced it. Recently I wrote a fairy story for my daughters and my niece. They love it and think there's something there. All I can think is "children's book - how cliche". I - too - want to write something meaningful. And - at least for now - it ain't gonna happen.

Hunter S. Thompson. As portrayed by Johnny Depp... And Luna Lovegood - Luna is wonderful! Embrace your Luna!!!

Tammy Howard said...

There will be an award for you on my blog Saturday morning... (I know this because I can see into the future)

slacker-chick said...

I don't think you have to look too far to find something important or substantial. If you write about what interests you it will interest others. We already know you are a good writer and have a unique "voice" so, when you are ready, you can do it.

(I would listen to my own advice if I weren't so lazy.) ;->

happyfunpants said...

First, I am SO sorry this response is so delayed! I've been so backlogged on blogs, it isn't even funny.

But what I do want to echo is Jen's response. I think you're an amazing writer - full of substance, depth, and vision.

I think you're inspirational. In fact, you always inspire me. Like, when I read your blog I'm all "Well, I wrote about farts and Ginger is writing about world peace." But I'm not even down on myself about it - I'm just so glad that I know you - someone who is actually THINKING of stuff that is worthy of being thought of.

Not that farts aren't.

Oh, forget it.