Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Universal Conservation of "L"s

During our three hour window of baby-less transaction, we careened towards the great metro-wonderland of music and lights and dancing and sin, leaning forward to get there faster. And then this:

Him: So, yesterday my students noticed the way I say bolth. They were all like, "Mr. Haag, it's not pronounced boLth, it's both."

Her: See. They're smart.

Him: Well it's not bowwwth. Bowwwth sounds so.. so..

Her: Correct?

Him: Snobby. (lifting his nose in the air) Bowwwth. See? Uppity.

Her: (eye roll) Dude.

Him: Look. It has to do with the Universal Conservation of "L"s

Her: The wha..??

Him: The Universal Conservation of "L"s dictates that we sometimes conserve the L in words like "solder". Say it with me. "saw-der" See? No "L" is pronounced. You then take that L and move it where it is supposed to be - in words such as "boLth".

Her: Oh my God, it's a good thing this is your birthday week-end, the one time you get to say weird stuff and I nod and smile instead of explaining, using pie charts and graphs, why what you are saying is completely pulled out of your ass. (nodding and smiling)

Him: Precisely.

-And scene-

Happy Birthday, Love.

(p.s. I hope you are not too disappointed that we can't afford your midlife crisis Ferrari. At least you have a hot young trophy wife.. (wink))

8 comments:

Jen said...

That made me CRACK up!! Too funny! I've actually thought to myself a time or two about the work bowwwwth being a funny word! Kind of hard to say! So I totally get why he adds the L!! Hilarious!

Happy Birthday Rich!! I actually remembered today being your birthday, even before Ginger posted it!! Hope you're having a great day and weekend!! Do you have tomorrow off too?

Ginger said...

Sadly, we're working tomorrow. (boo)
But you enjoy your day off!! I hope you're feeling better.

happyfunpants said...

Sorry - Rich is right. It IS pronounced with using the L.

Is he, by chance, from Colorado?

An ex of mine said he could always tell who was a Colorado native because we all pronounce the L in both.

tara said...

Ahhh, now it all makes sense.

This is why some people refuse to pronounce a -ing correctly, removing the g, and why southerners often say it adding a hard g to the end!

Universal conservation! It all balances out!

Chelle said...

You two are crazy.

Happy birthday Rich.

Amy said...

That made me laugh. I can have that same problem at times.

Guess what you just got an award. Yes you did.

Got to my blog page and you will see it.
It is called "I love your blog" I do enjoy reading both of your blogs.

Christine said...

Rich is right about that conservation of letters thing. Being a Yankee, I know all about how that works with the letter "R".

Rich, you so smart! ;)

the girls' moma said...

OMG, you guys are funny.

Can I get a copy of those pie charts? Those sound AWESOME.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Universal Conservation of "L"s

During our three hour window of baby-less transaction, we careened towards the great metro-wonderland of music and lights and dancing and sin, leaning forward to get there faster. And then this:

Him: So, yesterday my students noticed the way I say bolth. They were all like, "Mr. Haag, it's not pronounced boLth, it's both."

Her: See. They're smart.

Him: Well it's not bowwwth. Bowwwth sounds so.. so..

Her: Correct?

Him: Snobby. (lifting his nose in the air) Bowwwth. See? Uppity.

Her: (eye roll) Dude.

Him: Look. It has to do with the Universal Conservation of "L"s

Her: The wha..??

Him: The Universal Conservation of "L"s dictates that we sometimes conserve the L in words like "solder". Say it with me. "saw-der" See? No "L" is pronounced. You then take that L and move it where it is supposed to be - in words such as "boLth".

Her: Oh my God, it's a good thing this is your birthday week-end, the one time you get to say weird stuff and I nod and smile instead of explaining, using pie charts and graphs, why what you are saying is completely pulled out of your ass. (nodding and smiling)

Him: Precisely.

-And scene-

Happy Birthday, Love.

(p.s. I hope you are not too disappointed that we can't afford your midlife crisis Ferrari. At least you have a hot young trophy wife.. (wink))

8 comments:

Jen said...

That made me CRACK up!! Too funny! I've actually thought to myself a time or two about the work bowwwwth being a funny word! Kind of hard to say! So I totally get why he adds the L!! Hilarious!

Happy Birthday Rich!! I actually remembered today being your birthday, even before Ginger posted it!! Hope you're having a great day and weekend!! Do you have tomorrow off too?

Ginger said...

Sadly, we're working tomorrow. (boo)
But you enjoy your day off!! I hope you're feeling better.

happyfunpants said...

Sorry - Rich is right. It IS pronounced with using the L.

Is he, by chance, from Colorado?

An ex of mine said he could always tell who was a Colorado native because we all pronounce the L in both.

tara said...

Ahhh, now it all makes sense.

This is why some people refuse to pronounce a -ing correctly, removing the g, and why southerners often say it adding a hard g to the end!

Universal conservation! It all balances out!

Chelle said...

You two are crazy.

Happy birthday Rich.

Amy said...

That made me laugh. I can have that same problem at times.

Guess what you just got an award. Yes you did.

Got to my blog page and you will see it.
It is called "I love your blog" I do enjoy reading both of your blogs.

Christine said...

Rich is right about that conservation of letters thing. Being a Yankee, I know all about how that works with the letter "R".

Rich, you so smart! ;)

the girls' moma said...

OMG, you guys are funny.

Can I get a copy of those pie charts? Those sound AWESOME.