Saturday, November 1, 2008

I Saved Gilbert Flannigan

I am often cognizant of the (more than likely) fact that I am soul mates with author and comedian, David Sedaris. We are so close that we finish each other's sentences. Or really, he writes the sentences that I wish I could. I bought his new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and in it is a story called "April in Paris". In the story, Sedaris who joins the American Arachnological Society, studies and befriends a spider that lives on his window sill in France. He names her April and he ends up taking her to Paris and showing her the Eiffel Tower. Hence, we have the title, "April in Paris".

Just like Sedaris has, I have my own special relationships with some of the infestations in my home. I suppose I don't bond with many of them. Actually, I usually ask most of them to leave, politely of course. The sugar ants are by far the most uncooperative and intrusive, but the ones I really can't tolerate are the roaches. I rarely see them in the house, but if I do, then it's pretty much a scene - hardcore yelling and throwing things. But spiders, especially, are helpful creatures, for the most part, so I usually just ask if they wouldn't mind moving their homes for a few days while company visits.

Last night I befriended a very large fly. He has a striped black and grey body and red eyes, and he told me his name is Gilbert Flannigan. He was just passing through when some thoughtess person closed the door on him, keeping him stuck here until morning. That's what his travel agent implied, anyway, though she didn't come right out and say it. It turns out that Gilbert is very interested in me, and because I literally can't even harm a fly, I tolerated him last night as he watched me get ready for bed. This was mildly uncomfortable, and I have to admit, I felt a little self conscious. Once I turned off the lights to go to sleep, I heard Gilbert flying around, and I thought, "Rich is probably right. He probably is just looking for a place to die." And then I was a little sad for him.

This morning was typical. I got up when I heard our Baby Smuch stirring. I turned on the coffee pot and checked my email. Smuch and I played for a while, Rich got up eventually, and then I decided to bathe. I drew my bathwater and settled in to what I would call an "almost perfect" bath - a nice temperature, a recent New Yorker Magazine in hand. Right in the middle of an article about how McCain ruined a perfectly good Sunday afternoon by kicking a puppy (or something like that), Gilbert showed up.

"I thought you would be dead by now," I whispered to him.

"I'm not dead, yet" was the reply.
"OK," I thought, "that's a pretty resilient beastie, and who am I to end his life? Just because he eats poop and lands on stuff...stuff that my baby touches.."
And that's when it happened!
Gilbert flew directly into my bathwater! I started gagging. My brain was all confused. This was so gross, and yet, I felt horrible that he was struggling to swim. And then came this mental montage: "Flies can't swim, right? Well they sort of can. Look at Gilbert. He's swimming. No. He's flailing... Drowning.. If a fly's wings get wet can he fly? Then he can't eat. Or leave. Or do anything else that flies are wont to do. Why am I doing nothing? I'm complete shit!"

And just like that, I vowed to save Gilbert.

I looked around for something to help because God forbid I would actually touch Gilbert. I ripped out a page of my New Yorker, and fashioned a make-shift buoy for him to cling to. Like a good fly, Gilbert grabbed on. I flipped him out of the bath and after standing on the side of the tub for a pulse check, he flew away. I finished my bath and went about my day.

This afternoon (four hours after the event) Gilbert came to see me in the kitchen to say, I would assume, thank you. He must be pretty grateful, seeing as he let me take his picture, and on the David Sedaris book, no less.

72 comments:

Jen said...

What a great post for the first ones for NaBloPoMo! I wish I were as creative as you!!

Hey do you have any pictures of Jack on Halloween? I'm dieing to see our little Tootsie Roll!!

Ginger said...

Hi Jen, and thanks! As I recall we are both really creative, as seen in our childhood games. :)

I posted some pics of Jack on Halloween on my Flickr on Bugbarn, but I still need to write about it. Maybe I can when Jack goes to bed tonight..

Bonnie said...

I agree with Jen, you are extremely creative. I enjoyed reading about Gilbert Flannigan, and may look into getting the David Sedaris book.

the girls' moma said...

Ok, so I finally got Me Talk Pretty One Day, only I am so cool that I got it in audiobook form so I could hear his voice, too. Very funny stuff.

I can't believe you didn't kill that fly. When I hear one of those really loud flies, all I can think is that it is going to fly into my ear.

There. Something else to think about.

Jen said...

Haha on our Childhood names!! Hey that's something to write about this month!!

Melanie said...

wow great post!

have a great rest of the week :)

Amy said...

Amazing! I even wrote a post on household pests today, though mine is nowhere near as entertaining as yours!

Jennifer said...

What a creative and entertaining post. I really enjoyed it. I am afraid I am not nearly as nice as you though as my fly swatter has killed many distant relatives of Gilberts.

theselfloveproject said...

great post..

lovely pucs...

Yaya said...

Haha! Our minds think alike!

cat said...

Stunning read!

Greetings from South Africa

Fruitful Vine2 said...

You have such a wonderful way with words. I enjoyed reading this post. I'm glad I stopped by from SITS.

blueviolet said...

Happy SITS day! What a wonderful post for me to have read. This is so beautifully written.

I wish I felt the same way about insect life though. Gilbert would be gone if he had visited me. :(

Jessica said...

Barring things that can hurt me, I too save creatures in my house. I leave a small water dish in the bathroom for aunts and I scoot spiders outside.

Roaches, scorpions, and flies, however are not so lucky.

Laila Of Course! said...

Wonderful wonderful read!! LOVED it!

-Laila
www.randomweavings.blogspot.com

Moms Fighting Fat said...

Hooray for Gilbert and you for being his savior. :-)

I normally do not kill spiders but loathe roaches and flies to death so I guess I'm an insect murderer. :-)

Thanks for sharing your squirm inducing, touching real life adventure with us.

Hugs from a SITS gal ~ Sandy

"We're all on this journey towards healthier living together"

http://momsfightingfat.com

carma said...

My mom dropped off a potted plant the other day and I have been chasing gnats around the house all week. Apparently they made a home in the soil. I'm not quite as nice with them as you were with gilbert, though.

glenna said...

You are an amazing writer!

Farmgirl Paints said...

Not a big fan of any sort of bug either. Try vinegar and water in a spray bottle to get rid of your ants. They really don't like vinegar. HAPPY SITS DAY!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Happy SITS Day!! :)

SarahovertheRainbow said...

Yup, would have killed him.

Spiders, on the other hand, I tolerate just as long as they are not a) black widows b) brown recluses c) other exotic imports that might kill me. They eat bugs.

Life of a Stepmama said...

So creative, great post!! Happy SITS day!!!

La Belle Mere UK said...

Great post! You are in line for lots of good Karma now for saving the fly.

B x

C. Beth said...

Again, awesome.

Cher said...

oh my gosh...this is so funny! I'm the complete opposite. Flies...they're alright. Spiders? "God's one and only mistake." - spoken by yesterday's Feature Blogger. :) Loved the pic of the fly, though! Congrats on your SITS day!

Ungirdled Passion said...

David Sedaris is the best. I love the "Town & Country" piece in that book. Happy SITS!

B.o.B. said...

Way to save Gilbert. I was rooting for him.

jori-o said...

You are a heroine indeed ;-)

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

WOW! Happy SITS DAY!

Dee said...

I'm with you on ants. Roaches, Im not at all polite. I know those suckers can outlive me.

Flies well somehow they are usually willing to fly away. Yeah Gilbert and he's well mannered too.

How the hell do you manage to draw a bath in the morning?

meandtheblueskies said...

I love how you write. I too am a fan of Sedaris and his Sister Amy. My daughter loves to cook so I gave her the cookbook that Amy wrote a while ago. She laughed her butt off at it. I suppose Gilbert is no more but I will never, ever look at a fly the same way again. I am very glad you were the FB over at SITS. - Preston

Ashley said...

Yikes! I can't imagine being so nice to a fly. You're a kinder human than I.

Lavender n Lattés said...

Very creative and interesting, funny story!

Happy SITS day

Helen McGinn said...

Aaargh! I'd have been out the front door, sans towel, screaming and flailing. A lot. I don't like wee flyie beasties....I too couldn't actually kill one but I'm likely to set the house on fire if one tried to touch me. *shiver*

Lance and Jewls said...

Oh you are SO nice! I would have ripped out the fly swatter for sure...wow, I'm evil! :0

Smitten by Britain said...

Great writing! Enjoy your SITS day.

Melissa said...

Your blog reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk in a stephenie meyers world. Love it.

My Household Junk said...

I also love David Sedaris! I don't have the new book yet. I love the one from the Christmas book where he was an elf.

supah ~d said...

You are a riot! :)
d

Reluctant Housewife said...

Very nice of you to rescue him after he tried to share your bath.

MrsM said...

You're much nicer than I am...I kill all bug like creatures who get in my home-as soon as possible by whatever means necessary.

We are not friends.

Jennifer said...

Gilbert is much luckier to be visiting your place and not mine! He may not have been rescued ;)

Laura said...

Well flies are okay I guess, but I would never welcome a spider into my house.

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

That was so humanitarian of you. However, I would have went Karate Kid on his ass. I have no tolerance for flies. Or ants. Or spiders. Mainly because they like to touch me and I'm notokay with that...yet.

Bentley Boutique said...

You're way too nice. I'd have smashed him for sure for trespassing. Lucky fly.
http://bentleyboutique.com/craftblog

Marrdy said...

That Gilbert is one lucky guy. His cousin, Gordon was at my house last night and he ended up being smashed with a flyswater while I screamed and made a fool of myself! (And spiders are just down right scary!!!)

Krafty Kristy said...

Wow what a great story. I have saved many bugs in my day but would have never thought of such a create way of sharing it.

The Daily Dose said...

You are such an amazing writer. I feel like I know Gilbert! I hope he stops trying to commit suicide soon though. I guess because I grew up in an old house, big roaches don't bother me too badly. I had a lizard live in my toilet paper roll for about 3 days last year. I was sad to see him go.

Ali said...

You are one helluva friend! And I love how this Gilbert story came full circle. Love!

piecemeal people said...

Gilbert Flannigan is grossing me out!

Stalker v1.5 said...

I live in inferiority to your linguistic styling. Truly funny, funny post!

Crystal said...

What a great story! Unfortunately, I would've squashed the little booger.

foxy said...

How funny... love the story! Happy day to you, sitsta!

Leigh said...

Oh man! What a great story! Thanks for sharing!

Stopping by from SITS,
Leigh

Hanneke Nelson said...

Brilliant story!

Rbarakat said...

great story!

shortmama said...

Well written! Gilbert wouldnt make it at my house though...better for him to stay and visit with you

Kekibird said...

A life in opposition...love bugs or hate 'em. There is no in between.

Michelle said...

I cannot believe you took a picture of the fly on the book. What are the chances????

Elizabeth Patch said...

One of the funniest things I ever did was take a road trip with an audio version of that David Sedaris book. Glad to see he inspired your own funny version.

Nina @PlaygroundforParents said...

Gilbert is so lucky that his travel agent sent him to your house and not mine.
Happy SITS!

Mama Mair said...

Cool post. I let all the Gilberts in my house. Or I open the door and let them find their way in the world.
I can relate with David Sedaris, too. I have Greek parents and I was raised by four Greek grandparents (all crazy). We laugh at the things Sedaris' dad does - no joke, it's real my Big Fat Greek family has done it too. My husband, who is not Greek, is always in shock with the Greek clan and laughs even harder when Sedaris shares his tales.
Happy SITS day!

TR Hughes said...

Great Post. Little buggers in the house is no fun at all! Love your way with words...visiting from SITS!

Joy said...

You should totally send this photo to Sedaris. He would love it {I think}. That essay you refer to was my favorite of that particular book of his.

Brooke said...

OMG. I love this I love this I love this! Wow. I'm speechless.

HAppy Sits Day!!!

Little Miss Baker said...

Happy SITS Day! Loved reading your posts :)

Mama Mel said...

You are so funny! I didn't even realize that was a real fly on that book! I thought it was part of the book cover! He looks like he belongs on that skeleton! ;) Great post!

The Redhead Riter said...

Happy SITS day!

Sarah said...

This is a great post! You're an excellent writer! Great job!

Happy SITS day!

Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents said...

Happy SITS day!

Wow, that is deep! Much like the days we used to sit around the dorm and discuss things!

dddiva said...

Great read- you definitely have a way with words.

I have to say though, had Gilbert come to my home I'd have been looking for an Uzi.

Kristin said...

Wow, I wish I could write such prose about the palmetto bugs than make my skin crawl!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

I Saved Gilbert Flannigan

I am often cognizant of the (more than likely) fact that I am soul mates with author and comedian, David Sedaris. We are so close that we finish each other's sentences. Or really, he writes the sentences that I wish I could. I bought his new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and in it is a story called "April in Paris". In the story, Sedaris who joins the American Arachnological Society, studies and befriends a spider that lives on his window sill in France. He names her April and he ends up taking her to Paris and showing her the Eiffel Tower. Hence, we have the title, "April in Paris".

Just like Sedaris has, I have my own special relationships with some of the infestations in my home. I suppose I don't bond with many of them. Actually, I usually ask most of them to leave, politely of course. The sugar ants are by far the most uncooperative and intrusive, but the ones I really can't tolerate are the roaches. I rarely see them in the house, but if I do, then it's pretty much a scene - hardcore yelling and throwing things. But spiders, especially, are helpful creatures, for the most part, so I usually just ask if they wouldn't mind moving their homes for a few days while company visits.

Last night I befriended a very large fly. He has a striped black and grey body and red eyes, and he told me his name is Gilbert Flannigan. He was just passing through when some thoughtess person closed the door on him, keeping him stuck here until morning. That's what his travel agent implied, anyway, though she didn't come right out and say it. It turns out that Gilbert is very interested in me, and because I literally can't even harm a fly, I tolerated him last night as he watched me get ready for bed. This was mildly uncomfortable, and I have to admit, I felt a little self conscious. Once I turned off the lights to go to sleep, I heard Gilbert flying around, and I thought, "Rich is probably right. He probably is just looking for a place to die." And then I was a little sad for him.

This morning was typical. I got up when I heard our Baby Smuch stirring. I turned on the coffee pot and checked my email. Smuch and I played for a while, Rich got up eventually, and then I decided to bathe. I drew my bathwater and settled in to what I would call an "almost perfect" bath - a nice temperature, a recent New Yorker Magazine in hand. Right in the middle of an article about how McCain ruined a perfectly good Sunday afternoon by kicking a puppy (or something like that), Gilbert showed up.

"I thought you would be dead by now," I whispered to him.

"I'm not dead, yet" was the reply.
"OK," I thought, "that's a pretty resilient beastie, and who am I to end his life? Just because he eats poop and lands on stuff...stuff that my baby touches.."
And that's when it happened!
Gilbert flew directly into my bathwater! I started gagging. My brain was all confused. This was so gross, and yet, I felt horrible that he was struggling to swim. And then came this mental montage: "Flies can't swim, right? Well they sort of can. Look at Gilbert. He's swimming. No. He's flailing... Drowning.. If a fly's wings get wet can he fly? Then he can't eat. Or leave. Or do anything else that flies are wont to do. Why am I doing nothing? I'm complete shit!"

And just like that, I vowed to save Gilbert.

I looked around for something to help because God forbid I would actually touch Gilbert. I ripped out a page of my New Yorker, and fashioned a make-shift buoy for him to cling to. Like a good fly, Gilbert grabbed on. I flipped him out of the bath and after standing on the side of the tub for a pulse check, he flew away. I finished my bath and went about my day.

This afternoon (four hours after the event) Gilbert came to see me in the kitchen to say, I would assume, thank you. He must be pretty grateful, seeing as he let me take his picture, and on the David Sedaris book, no less.

72 comments:

Jen said...

What a great post for the first ones for NaBloPoMo! I wish I were as creative as you!!

Hey do you have any pictures of Jack on Halloween? I'm dieing to see our little Tootsie Roll!!

Ginger said...

Hi Jen, and thanks! As I recall we are both really creative, as seen in our childhood games. :)

I posted some pics of Jack on Halloween on my Flickr on Bugbarn, but I still need to write about it. Maybe I can when Jack goes to bed tonight..

Bonnie said...

I agree with Jen, you are extremely creative. I enjoyed reading about Gilbert Flannigan, and may look into getting the David Sedaris book.

the girls' moma said...

Ok, so I finally got Me Talk Pretty One Day, only I am so cool that I got it in audiobook form so I could hear his voice, too. Very funny stuff.

I can't believe you didn't kill that fly. When I hear one of those really loud flies, all I can think is that it is going to fly into my ear.

There. Something else to think about.

Jen said...

Haha on our Childhood names!! Hey that's something to write about this month!!

Melanie said...

wow great post!

have a great rest of the week :)

Amy said...

Amazing! I even wrote a post on household pests today, though mine is nowhere near as entertaining as yours!

Jennifer said...

What a creative and entertaining post. I really enjoyed it. I am afraid I am not nearly as nice as you though as my fly swatter has killed many distant relatives of Gilberts.

theselfloveproject said...

great post..

lovely pucs...

Yaya said...

Haha! Our minds think alike!

cat said...

Stunning read!

Greetings from South Africa

Fruitful Vine2 said...

You have such a wonderful way with words. I enjoyed reading this post. I'm glad I stopped by from SITS.

blueviolet said...

Happy SITS day! What a wonderful post for me to have read. This is so beautifully written.

I wish I felt the same way about insect life though. Gilbert would be gone if he had visited me. :(

Jessica said...

Barring things that can hurt me, I too save creatures in my house. I leave a small water dish in the bathroom for aunts and I scoot spiders outside.

Roaches, scorpions, and flies, however are not so lucky.

Laila Of Course! said...

Wonderful wonderful read!! LOVED it!

-Laila
www.randomweavings.blogspot.com

Moms Fighting Fat said...

Hooray for Gilbert and you for being his savior. :-)

I normally do not kill spiders but loathe roaches and flies to death so I guess I'm an insect murderer. :-)

Thanks for sharing your squirm inducing, touching real life adventure with us.

Hugs from a SITS gal ~ Sandy

"We're all on this journey towards healthier living together"

http://momsfightingfat.com

carma said...

My mom dropped off a potted plant the other day and I have been chasing gnats around the house all week. Apparently they made a home in the soil. I'm not quite as nice with them as you were with gilbert, though.

glenna said...

You are an amazing writer!

Farmgirl Paints said...

Not a big fan of any sort of bug either. Try vinegar and water in a spray bottle to get rid of your ants. They really don't like vinegar. HAPPY SITS DAY!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Happy SITS Day!! :)

SarahovertheRainbow said...

Yup, would have killed him.

Spiders, on the other hand, I tolerate just as long as they are not a) black widows b) brown recluses c) other exotic imports that might kill me. They eat bugs.

Life of a Stepmama said...

So creative, great post!! Happy SITS day!!!

La Belle Mere UK said...

Great post! You are in line for lots of good Karma now for saving the fly.

B x

C. Beth said...

Again, awesome.

Cher said...

oh my gosh...this is so funny! I'm the complete opposite. Flies...they're alright. Spiders? "God's one and only mistake." - spoken by yesterday's Feature Blogger. :) Loved the pic of the fly, though! Congrats on your SITS day!

Ungirdled Passion said...

David Sedaris is the best. I love the "Town & Country" piece in that book. Happy SITS!

B.o.B. said...

Way to save Gilbert. I was rooting for him.

jori-o said...

You are a heroine indeed ;-)

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

WOW! Happy SITS DAY!

Dee said...

I'm with you on ants. Roaches, Im not at all polite. I know those suckers can outlive me.

Flies well somehow they are usually willing to fly away. Yeah Gilbert and he's well mannered too.

How the hell do you manage to draw a bath in the morning?

meandtheblueskies said...

I love how you write. I too am a fan of Sedaris and his Sister Amy. My daughter loves to cook so I gave her the cookbook that Amy wrote a while ago. She laughed her butt off at it. I suppose Gilbert is no more but I will never, ever look at a fly the same way again. I am very glad you were the FB over at SITS. - Preston

Ashley said...

Yikes! I can't imagine being so nice to a fly. You're a kinder human than I.

Lavender n Lattés said...

Very creative and interesting, funny story!

Happy SITS day

Helen McGinn said...

Aaargh! I'd have been out the front door, sans towel, screaming and flailing. A lot. I don't like wee flyie beasties....I too couldn't actually kill one but I'm likely to set the house on fire if one tried to touch me. *shiver*

Lance and Jewls said...

Oh you are SO nice! I would have ripped out the fly swatter for sure...wow, I'm evil! :0

Smitten by Britain said...

Great writing! Enjoy your SITS day.

Melissa said...

Your blog reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk in a stephenie meyers world. Love it.

My Household Junk said...

I also love David Sedaris! I don't have the new book yet. I love the one from the Christmas book where he was an elf.

supah ~d said...

You are a riot! :)
d

Reluctant Housewife said...

Very nice of you to rescue him after he tried to share your bath.

MrsM said...

You're much nicer than I am...I kill all bug like creatures who get in my home-as soon as possible by whatever means necessary.

We are not friends.

Jennifer said...

Gilbert is much luckier to be visiting your place and not mine! He may not have been rescued ;)

Laura said...

Well flies are okay I guess, but I would never welcome a spider into my house.

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

That was so humanitarian of you. However, I would have went Karate Kid on his ass. I have no tolerance for flies. Or ants. Or spiders. Mainly because they like to touch me and I'm notokay with that...yet.

Bentley Boutique said...

You're way too nice. I'd have smashed him for sure for trespassing. Lucky fly.
http://bentleyboutique.com/craftblog

Marrdy said...

That Gilbert is one lucky guy. His cousin, Gordon was at my house last night and he ended up being smashed with a flyswater while I screamed and made a fool of myself! (And spiders are just down right scary!!!)

Krafty Kristy said...

Wow what a great story. I have saved many bugs in my day but would have never thought of such a create way of sharing it.

The Daily Dose said...

You are such an amazing writer. I feel like I know Gilbert! I hope he stops trying to commit suicide soon though. I guess because I grew up in an old house, big roaches don't bother me too badly. I had a lizard live in my toilet paper roll for about 3 days last year. I was sad to see him go.

Ali said...

You are one helluva friend! And I love how this Gilbert story came full circle. Love!

piecemeal people said...

Gilbert Flannigan is grossing me out!

Stalker v1.5 said...

I live in inferiority to your linguistic styling. Truly funny, funny post!

Crystal said...

What a great story! Unfortunately, I would've squashed the little booger.

foxy said...

How funny... love the story! Happy day to you, sitsta!

Leigh said...

Oh man! What a great story! Thanks for sharing!

Stopping by from SITS,
Leigh

Hanneke Nelson said...

Brilliant story!

Rbarakat said...

great story!

shortmama said...

Well written! Gilbert wouldnt make it at my house though...better for him to stay and visit with you

Kekibird said...

A life in opposition...love bugs or hate 'em. There is no in between.

Michelle said...

I cannot believe you took a picture of the fly on the book. What are the chances????

Elizabeth Patch said...

One of the funniest things I ever did was take a road trip with an audio version of that David Sedaris book. Glad to see he inspired your own funny version.

Nina @PlaygroundforParents said...

Gilbert is so lucky that his travel agent sent him to your house and not mine.
Happy SITS!

Mama Mair said...

Cool post. I let all the Gilberts in my house. Or I open the door and let them find their way in the world.
I can relate with David Sedaris, too. I have Greek parents and I was raised by four Greek grandparents (all crazy). We laugh at the things Sedaris' dad does - no joke, it's real my Big Fat Greek family has done it too. My husband, who is not Greek, is always in shock with the Greek clan and laughs even harder when Sedaris shares his tales.
Happy SITS day!

TR Hughes said...

Great Post. Little buggers in the house is no fun at all! Love your way with words...visiting from SITS!

Joy said...

You should totally send this photo to Sedaris. He would love it {I think}. That essay you refer to was my favorite of that particular book of his.

Brooke said...

OMG. I love this I love this I love this! Wow. I'm speechless.

HAppy Sits Day!!!

Little Miss Baker said...

Happy SITS Day! Loved reading your posts :)

Mama Mel said...

You are so funny! I didn't even realize that was a real fly on that book! I thought it was part of the book cover! He looks like he belongs on that skeleton! ;) Great post!

The Redhead Riter said...

Happy SITS day!

Sarah said...

This is a great post! You're an excellent writer! Great job!

Happy SITS day!

Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents said...

Happy SITS day!

Wow, that is deep! Much like the days we used to sit around the dorm and discuss things!

dddiva said...

Great read- you definitely have a way with words.

I have to say though, had Gilbert come to my home I'd have been looking for an Uzi.

Kristin said...

Wow, I wish I could write such prose about the palmetto bugs than make my skin crawl!