In short, I've had enough of the summer heat.
It makes me cranky.
And it can't be that it's just hot, like El Paso's manageable heat that feels like God has pointed the world's biggest hairdryer (duh, it's God's hairdryer) in one's face. It has to be 90% humid, too. It's so humid that I think beached whales could survive out of the water here, if they could tolerate the heat that is.
Anyway. This happens every year. Every year I reach this breaking point. Every year I fall on my knees and beg the earth goddess to throw me a freaking bone. Then I pout for the next 4 months until December when it cools off to a chilly 65 degrees and I whine about wanting to go swimming. "Where," I beg in an
This year I am going to be more proactive. I've decided that since the Metroplex sidesteps the pleasantries of Fall and careens head-first into the dead of "winter", I will have to simulate my own in-between season. Here's a list of what I need on hand to be successful:
* one pumpkin spice candle
* several silk orange, yellow, and brown leaves
* several real orange, yellow, and brown leaves (for stomping)
* a bag of candy corn
* a bag of kettle corn
* a hay bale or two
* apples and a large wash tub
* a bouquet of unsharpened pencils
* a pleasant looking scarecrow (not the scary kind that can sometimes be mistaken for an actual person)
* a taxidermied crow
* a pot of chrysanthemums
Or I could simply walk down the seasonal aisle at Hobby Lobby.