Friday, January 22, 2010

Regret

We are not old until our regrets outnumber our dreams.. or something like that. It's a Yiddish proverb that I read when I began to research "regret." What I found was pretty much the usual, grandiose statements such as: We shouldn't have regrets, we should live without them! or Regrets hold us down. To truly live, let go of regrets.

I decided I do not like grandiose statements, nor do I like the idea that regrets should be so easily dismissed, as if we can wave the backs of our hands at them the same way we flippantly dismiss a teenager who is feeding us a line of bull.

Regrets do afford us the opportunity for forgiveness and for learning. And I understand that to keep regret too near can eat at a person. However, regrets are also necessary. Maybe if we held onto regrets a little bit longer, we wouldn't be so easy to dismiss our collective irrational, selfish, and/or bad behaviors. Then, perhaps, our collective dreams - eradicating hunger, peace for all nations, human rights for all - could actually reside within within the scope of reality.


This post was inspired by the Loose Bloggers Consortium, a small and feisty(!) global community. We write weekly on a common topic (Regret, this week) and post responses - all of us together, simultaneously, from all over the world. (Lovely!) Please visit Anu, Conrad, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria and Ramana for other wonderful posts.

9 comments:

Rummuser said...

Ginger, you are strangely practical in this post. Whatever happened to the doubts part of the topic?

Amy said...

I think we can all learn from Regret..

Grannymar said...

Why hang on to regrets? Surely we should face, accept, learn and move on to a more positive route through life.

Conrad said...

Interesting take. I kind of like the idea that the function of regret is course correction going forward - or perhaps the spur to reflection upon one's intentions and actions. As long as they don't become a heavy ball and chain in the present, I can embrace that view.

Ginger said...

Rummuser - Yes. The doubts part of the post got left in the post that I worked on all afternoon, the one that got deleted. (sigh) But yes. THis is practical and less like the writing I like to do..

Amy - I think we can too, but I hope that's not all we do with regret.

Grannymar, I think in instances where regrets only affect our lives you are right. Where I struggle with the concept is when our "moving on" after regrets doesn't acknowledge the ones we affected with our poor decisions/actions.

Conrad - Yes balls and chains are not fun, but they sure do remind us of what not to do next time. Maybe the answer is in between forgetting and ball-and-chaining.

gaelikaa said...

Regrets can certainly help us to ask forgiveness and make amends. Your point is interesting...

gaelikaa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
happyfunpants said...

Ging...

As always, I'm aware of how much you have a gift when it comes to writing.*

I wonder when "regret" became a bad word. Like somehow it became the popular thing to say or write "Screw regrets! I live in the moment! Life is too short! Blah blah blah!"

Personally, I think that regrets can be a good thing - they can help us process, help us become better people, and help us get (in a weird way) a sort of closure. As long as they aren't taken out to flog us continually (but rather used to be a part of a healthy healing process), I don't think there is anything wrong with being mindful of our regrets.

*undoubtedly you have gifts when it comes to other things, but writing is the one that I'm concentrating on here. :)

Ginger said...

Anne, You are a sweetheart! I miss you! I hope all is well with you..
g

Friday, January 22, 2010

Regret

We are not old until our regrets outnumber our dreams.. or something like that. It's a Yiddish proverb that I read when I began to research "regret." What I found was pretty much the usual, grandiose statements such as: We shouldn't have regrets, we should live without them! or Regrets hold us down. To truly live, let go of regrets.

I decided I do not like grandiose statements, nor do I like the idea that regrets should be so easily dismissed, as if we can wave the backs of our hands at them the same way we flippantly dismiss a teenager who is feeding us a line of bull.

Regrets do afford us the opportunity for forgiveness and for learning. And I understand that to keep regret too near can eat at a person. However, regrets are also necessary. Maybe if we held onto regrets a little bit longer, we wouldn't be so easy to dismiss our collective irrational, selfish, and/or bad behaviors. Then, perhaps, our collective dreams - eradicating hunger, peace for all nations, human rights for all - could actually reside within within the scope of reality.


This post was inspired by the Loose Bloggers Consortium, a small and feisty(!) global community. We write weekly on a common topic (Regret, this week) and post responses - all of us together, simultaneously, from all over the world. (Lovely!) Please visit Anu, Conrad, gaelikaa, Grannymar, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria and Ramana for other wonderful posts.

9 comments:

Rummuser said...

Ginger, you are strangely practical in this post. Whatever happened to the doubts part of the topic?

Amy said...

I think we can all learn from Regret..

Grannymar said...

Why hang on to regrets? Surely we should face, accept, learn and move on to a more positive route through life.

Conrad said...

Interesting take. I kind of like the idea that the function of regret is course correction going forward - or perhaps the spur to reflection upon one's intentions and actions. As long as they don't become a heavy ball and chain in the present, I can embrace that view.

Ginger said...

Rummuser - Yes. The doubts part of the post got left in the post that I worked on all afternoon, the one that got deleted. (sigh) But yes. THis is practical and less like the writing I like to do..

Amy - I think we can too, but I hope that's not all we do with regret.

Grannymar, I think in instances where regrets only affect our lives you are right. Where I struggle with the concept is when our "moving on" after regrets doesn't acknowledge the ones we affected with our poor decisions/actions.

Conrad - Yes balls and chains are not fun, but they sure do remind us of what not to do next time. Maybe the answer is in between forgetting and ball-and-chaining.

gaelikaa said...

Regrets can certainly help us to ask forgiveness and make amends. Your point is interesting...

gaelikaa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
happyfunpants said...

Ging...

As always, I'm aware of how much you have a gift when it comes to writing.*

I wonder when "regret" became a bad word. Like somehow it became the popular thing to say or write "Screw regrets! I live in the moment! Life is too short! Blah blah blah!"

Personally, I think that regrets can be a good thing - they can help us process, help us become better people, and help us get (in a weird way) a sort of closure. As long as they aren't taken out to flog us continually (but rather used to be a part of a healthy healing process), I don't think there is anything wrong with being mindful of our regrets.

*undoubtedly you have gifts when it comes to other things, but writing is the one that I'm concentrating on here. :)

Ginger said...

Anne, You are a sweetheart! I miss you! I hope all is well with you..
g