Sunday, September 13, 2009

Overheard: Substitute Report

This is an actual letter from a substitute left to my dear teacher friend who had to be out for a day:

God Help You!
6th Period

This class had some kids (Elroy and Nuisance) that tried to be disruptive. I sprayed Nuisance with insecticide and put him in his proper seat. The insecticide might have affected his brain and/or his work ethic because he did virtually nothing except chew the biggest wad of gum I've ever seen. His mouth was considerably more mammoth than the wad of gum. He finally put his head down on the desk, exhausted... probably from all that chewing. Conclusion: Give Nuisance a wad of gum daily.

Oh no! Nuisance resurrected; wanted to go to the restroom. Did I let him? Well, yes, of course! Anything to help the poor guy... and the rest of us.

** No student was actually sprayed with insecticide (so back the hell off) and all names have been changed (in case that poor, innocent student would actually be embarrassed about his poor behavior at school). And if you think I'm being too mean or cold hearted in this post, then Darlings, it is clear that you've never taught ninth grade. :)

5 comments:

Mimi said...

Lmao, thanks I needed that! :D

Jessica said...

One of my subs when I was in high school could have left the following: Bitter Angry Girl threatened me with a piece of chalk. I attempted to diffuse the situation with my Sprite, but it didn't work. I left early to cry in my car. Good luck.

Helen McGinn said...

LOL! Love it!

happyfunpants said...

That cracked me up...and reminded me that you guys need a raise.

Tammy Howard said...

I have taught ninth graders. You were perhaps not being harsh enough...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Overheard: Substitute Report

This is an actual letter from a substitute left to my dear teacher friend who had to be out for a day:

God Help You!
6th Period

This class had some kids (Elroy and Nuisance) that tried to be disruptive. I sprayed Nuisance with insecticide and put him in his proper seat. The insecticide might have affected his brain and/or his work ethic because he did virtually nothing except chew the biggest wad of gum I've ever seen. His mouth was considerably more mammoth than the wad of gum. He finally put his head down on the desk, exhausted... probably from all that chewing. Conclusion: Give Nuisance a wad of gum daily.

Oh no! Nuisance resurrected; wanted to go to the restroom. Did I let him? Well, yes, of course! Anything to help the poor guy... and the rest of us.

** No student was actually sprayed with insecticide (so back the hell off) and all names have been changed (in case that poor, innocent student would actually be embarrassed about his poor behavior at school). And if you think I'm being too mean or cold hearted in this post, then Darlings, it is clear that you've never taught ninth grade. :)

5 comments:

Mimi said...

Lmao, thanks I needed that! :D

Jessica said...

One of my subs when I was in high school could have left the following: Bitter Angry Girl threatened me with a piece of chalk. I attempted to diffuse the situation with my Sprite, but it didn't work. I left early to cry in my car. Good luck.

Helen McGinn said...

LOL! Love it!

happyfunpants said...

That cracked me up...and reminded me that you guys need a raise.

Tammy Howard said...

I have taught ninth graders. You were perhaps not being harsh enough...