Friday, January 9, 2009

Misinterpretation

What they don't know is that when I sit down behind my desk and stop talking, my head in my hands, it doesn't mean I'm meek or afraid of confrontation. No. It's far worse. It means I've given up on them.

I refuse to yell.

But maybe they need to be yelled at, because what's happening (rather what's not happening) is hopeless.

8 comments:

Patty said...

Sometimes it is very hard to get through to teenagers. I hope it gets better.

Bonnie said...

As the mom of a soon to be in high school student, I plead with you to not give up just yet! I know these are hard times, and I applaud your courage to tackle them in the first place. Hang in there! I will pray for your sanity and the strength to continue on this important journey.

tara said...

I cannot even imagine how hard it is. It must seem like a million years till the end of the year.
I'm here for email support any time.

Ginger said...

Thanks you guys. It's been a tough year - to really really care about something and have it dismissed - no, shit on - in the most rude way.. That's how my job's been this year. But if I think of the kids as individuals, who they are, it makes it easier to care. And I do have some good kids this year. It just feels like the dissenters have the loudest voices.. I guess they usually do whether or not we are speaking about the classroom or grown-up society.

And Patty, I added you to my blog list. I hope that's OK.

c said...

On sweetie, I know what you are feeling. My district has gone nuts. I can't use my sick leave because the district won't pay for subs, because they are wanting to save money. Also, we work with half the lighting turned off in our classrooms and we wear our coats all day because the district wants to save money. Besides that though, think of this....when we STOP caring and hurting is when we should really be afraid. If that should ever happen, we should all be really afraid. Hang in there! It's who you are, sweetie and when it goes well, it's what keeps us all going.
Hugs to you,
Aunt Cyndie

Chelle said...

And even still, you are doing a great job.

Ginger said...

Thanks for having faith in me, but I'm not doing a great job. That's the problem. I'm as much responsible for my students' poor performance as they are. It is because I'm juggling too many things. BUT, I'm not doing a great job. I'm doing a fine job. And that's not good enough.

Chelle said...

Keep in mind, you are also a new mom. Your body is still recuperating, as is your mind, spirit, etc. First kid, it's totally overwhelming, and sets so much out of balance, yet also makes everything more beautiful. Teaching is no longer your number one priority, your kid is. You have to let that be ok. If it were the reverse, then there would be a problem. It's also ok to have a bad year, kids who don't care, and you just wanting a moment, a second, a space to just be, to relax, rest, and breathe with no one needing anything. Give yourself a break. Do your best, and even if it's only 50%, give 100% of that 50%.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Misinterpretation

What they don't know is that when I sit down behind my desk and stop talking, my head in my hands, it doesn't mean I'm meek or afraid of confrontation. No. It's far worse. It means I've given up on them.

I refuse to yell.

But maybe they need to be yelled at, because what's happening (rather what's not happening) is hopeless.

8 comments:

Patty said...

Sometimes it is very hard to get through to teenagers. I hope it gets better.

Bonnie said...

As the mom of a soon to be in high school student, I plead with you to not give up just yet! I know these are hard times, and I applaud your courage to tackle them in the first place. Hang in there! I will pray for your sanity and the strength to continue on this important journey.

tara said...

I cannot even imagine how hard it is. It must seem like a million years till the end of the year.
I'm here for email support any time.

Ginger said...

Thanks you guys. It's been a tough year - to really really care about something and have it dismissed - no, shit on - in the most rude way.. That's how my job's been this year. But if I think of the kids as individuals, who they are, it makes it easier to care. And I do have some good kids this year. It just feels like the dissenters have the loudest voices.. I guess they usually do whether or not we are speaking about the classroom or grown-up society.

And Patty, I added you to my blog list. I hope that's OK.

c said...

On sweetie, I know what you are feeling. My district has gone nuts. I can't use my sick leave because the district won't pay for subs, because they are wanting to save money. Also, we work with half the lighting turned off in our classrooms and we wear our coats all day because the district wants to save money. Besides that though, think of this....when we STOP caring and hurting is when we should really be afraid. If that should ever happen, we should all be really afraid. Hang in there! It's who you are, sweetie and when it goes well, it's what keeps us all going.
Hugs to you,
Aunt Cyndie

Chelle said...

And even still, you are doing a great job.

Ginger said...

Thanks for having faith in me, but I'm not doing a great job. That's the problem. I'm as much responsible for my students' poor performance as they are. It is because I'm juggling too many things. BUT, I'm not doing a great job. I'm doing a fine job. And that's not good enough.

Chelle said...

Keep in mind, you are also a new mom. Your body is still recuperating, as is your mind, spirit, etc. First kid, it's totally overwhelming, and sets so much out of balance, yet also makes everything more beautiful. Teaching is no longer your number one priority, your kid is. You have to let that be ok. If it were the reverse, then there would be a problem. It's also ok to have a bad year, kids who don't care, and you just wanting a moment, a second, a space to just be, to relax, rest, and breathe with no one needing anything. Give yourself a break. Do your best, and even if it's only 50%, give 100% of that 50%.