Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Define "Baby"

I may move to Nebraska in 12 years. It turns out that they have a law that allows mothers to drop off their unwanted babies at the fire station, but the law is not specific about how old the "baby" can or, rather, cannot be. Because of this "loop hole", mothers across the state and beyond are dropping off their unruly teenagers.

"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.

Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.
And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:





I actually stopped and said,"Really?" Didn't anyone tell the younger generation that the 80's was a multi-track, multi-car train wreck with fatalities fashion wise? They apparently have no idea. But who am I to tell them? I had feathered bangs and leg warmers.

See, Mr. Landry? They're children. You are obligated to take them.

The fire stations will soon be packed.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sass

In light of the tanking economy, I've gone a little nuts. Instead of taking all of my money out of the bank and stuffing the cash into pillow cases, medicine bottles, and/or fake hairspray cans, I have been a little bit (more) irresponsible. I'm like Nero who played his fiddle as Rome burned, only we are in America and instead of playing a fiddle, I went shoe shopping. Welcome home darlings:

At least I'll go out stilletto style. And Rich will be happy, too.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I know this makes me embarrassing to all demographics:

I admit it. I was caught loudly singing the following song at what apparently was a very quiet intersection. My car was sandwiched between two others and in each were people much younger than me and much more likely to thump the bass as they reclined at the wheel.. But whatever. You gotta live, yo. Plus, Madonna's hot, Justin helped to revive the beatbox (which we didn't know we missed until he brought it back to American music), and I pretty much like all of the music produced by Timbaland. So there you go..



The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Guess What We Did Yesterday..

We performed our civic duty...happily.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ulta - matum

I went to Ulta yesterday to get a foundation brush. This was the first makeup brush I've ever purchased, and I only bought one because I look and feel really tired these days and need some serious help. I figured that if my foundation was applied more evenly - in all the crevices of my face - then maybe I wouldn't look so much like a worn out 30 something high school teacher with a four month old baby at home. Did I mention I also have a cat? I do. I have a cat. I am a 30 something year old high school teaching cat lady with a baby. Not. So. Sexy.

Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.

In short, I am not that girl.

I've never been that girl.

So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!

And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.

I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.

Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.

But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.

Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Comfortable With Uncertainty

Christine, one of the dearest people on the planet to me and who knows me better than just about everyone, gave me a lovely book for my birthday. It is Pema Chodron's Comfortable With Uncertainty. The book is a compilation of practical mahayana Buddhist teachings/meditation practices intended to "lead us out of the world of self-preoccupation into the greater world of fellowship with all human beings."

I need this.

I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.

The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.

One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."

In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

From the Gut

Last night after Rich had sung Jack to sleep, he went out to the "little outside" (our backyard) to bring in Casey Cat for the night. I was in the other room getting ready for bed when I heard Rich come in, riffle through a drawer, and go back out.

I wasn't sure exactly what was happening, so I listened for a minute, heard nothing out of the ordinary, and then followed Rich outside because it was too quiet. That's when I saw an unusual sight:

Rich was standing remarkably still four feet away from the corner of our yard, steadily shining a flashlight where the fences meet. I stood there for a second or two trying to assess the situation. In those very brief seconds, my brain crawler went something like this: "What is he looking at? Is the cat OK? Should I call for help? Should we be on high alert? I have a golf club.. no a bat..Damn, I know I'm for gun control, but maybe I should rethink it. Is that a cadaver? Buried alive? An arm coming from the ground? Mexican mafia..." and so forth. And as my paranoia went from healthy fear to certain global doom, Rich looked over at me and said very mater-of-factly, "Look. A possum."

"Oh," I sighed, a little disappointed, I have to admit.

"No it is! Look. I've never seen a real possum before."

"Is the cat OK?" I asked, not so much impressed by the possum.

"Yeah," he said, "they're friends. They were smelling each other when I got out here. See look. Casey isn't even puffed up."

"Is the possum trapped? Do we need to call animal control?" I asked in hopes that the possum could find his way out of our yard so that it could share this Disney experience with someone else's cat.

Ignoring my crankitude, Rich declared, "Man. I can't wait for Jack to be big enough to come outside and see stuff like this. I'll say, 'Look Baby Jack! A possum!' and he'll be all, 'Cool Dad! That's awesome.'"

"Will you teach him that possums are marsupials?" I mocked.

"Oh. Are they?" he questioned, followed immediately by, "Oh right! The opossum is North America's only marsupial."

And then the laughter came. I realized at that moment that I hadn't laughed in a really, really long time. And I couldn't stop laughing because, damn, Rich is adorable and I'm delighted that he's such a great Dad, and because um, when did Rich apply for, get hired by, and make a documentary on North American Marsupials? I laughed hard. Outloud. From the gut.

And it felt so good.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Alarum Within

I really wish we could have internal warning alarms or some sort of trumpet fanfare - one of those buzzer sounds? - that would indicate to us when something is terribly wrong about our logic or understanding. Sometimes, I guess, we do have some warning- like when we get a heavy feeling in the pit of our stomach when something horrible is about to happen. But mostly I'm talking about having an internal, spiritual, or mental alarum that indicates when we ought to fight a legitimate fight for the good of our mental and spiritual well beings and/or for overall promotion of good in the world.

That being said, we would first need to tap in to that all encompassing "good" quintessence so that we understand that what we are fighting for is actually good.

I think most of us would agree that there are universal qualifiers that make up what we call "good". These are spiritual. They were here before there was a universe, nascent to the very earth that we walk on and to the air that we breathe. We inherently know what these are without being able to define them. They are components that make up qualities such as morality, kindness, helpfulness, gratitude, good stewardship, etc.. In fact, defining "good" as anything other than the components of qualities places a certain bias on the definition of "good". And that can be bad.

To clarify, good has nothing to do with religiosity or cause. I mean, religion and causes can work for (and with) the greater good, but neither of these are inherently good since they are man made. Both, without meaning to, can actually oppose goodness.

That being said, what happens when we perceive "good" to be threatened? To what extent is it our jobs as upholders of good to fight in the name of it?

For example, when someone makes a statement such as, "All Iraqis are terrorists" or "Americans are more deserving of (food, good health, happiness, wealth..) than everyone else" or "People who are poor deserve to be poor" or "If your religion isn't _____(fill in the blank with any dogma)_________, then you're going to hell" etc. and OH MY GOD, there are so many more that I've heard today alone. These statements do not, in any way, reflect the "good" as we should all understand it. In fact, even though the people making these statements perceive them as being good or being made in the name of what they think is good, they are completely bogus universally!

There should be alarum for that.

And that's what I mean in talking about alarum within. Why can't there be something internal that indicates either #1, the fact that what we are saying is ridiculous, illogical, uh.. bullshit and/or #2 a rational reaction is appropriate when dealing with others who say things that oppose goodness so that they can understand the fallacy of their statements, especially when they don't even recognize that what they are saying is harmful. And regarding the second, there are times when it is not OK to react.

I suppose I am sounding elitist here. I don't mean to be elitist. In fact there are plenty of times when someone has needed to blow a whistle on my thoughts and statements..actions, even. And if I were truly a good person, fighting for the universal good, then maybe I wouldn't be as afraid of confrontation.

But I wrestle with knowing when to fight and when to stand down, especially when dealing with people I love.. And that in iteself creates alarum within, but of a different nature.

Loud Logical Fallacies

All logic is gone in this country and not in a good way. At least it feels that way to me, and I happily include myself in this statement. Bluntly, I really don't care about the actual "logic" (or illogic, really) part of it, except to say that it is what's feeding this huge emotional, reactionary shitwad of unpleasantness.

It isn't new that we all have differing opinions. It isn't new that we are treating each other poorly. It isn't new that our stress levels are maxed out. What is new is that we are all so divided that instead of sweeping things under rugs, pretending that certain opinions don't exist so that we can get through Christmas dinner relatively unscathed or ignoring that proverbial elephant (or donkey) in the room to preserve some sort of mental stability, all we are doing is talking! And it isn't healthy talking. It is Jerry Springer talking. Good-hearted, moral people are acting two and are speaking over, pointing fingers, and loudly yelling at other good-hearted, moral people who have their fingers in their ears, who are yelling "lalalalalala I can't hear you lalalalala." And then a timer goes off and the (non)listeners become the talkers and the talkers insert fingers into their ears. Isn't what I've just described one of the circles of hell in the Inferno?

The worst part is that some of us are listening and it is making us so incredibly sad that we just want to crawl under rocks and die a little. Some of us are learning things about our loved ones that we didn't want to know. Some of us are being heinously mistreated by those loved ones. People we had higher hopes for are disappointing us left(wing) and right(wing).

Please understand that healthy talk is a good thing. Maybe not within families... But can't we all just shut the hell up for a minute? Imagine what the world would be like if everyone just shut their freaking pie holes for one. whole. minute. SHHHHHH!

But we can't do it.

And I think that really makes God sad.

(If you've neverread the Twilight Zone screen play, "The Monsters are Due on Maple Street", you should. That would give you a pretty accurate illustration of what's happening here.)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Hello, Mam. May I hold your walker for you?

So, I'm another year older today. And don't I know it. I thought I was OK with this - you know - because age is only in the mind and all.. (sigh).
But DUDE. I got called "mam" four times this week! FOUR. And not by students who sometimes call me that. . The ones in ROTC do, anyway. And not by anyone who knows I am a year older today. Four perfect strangers called me mam this week - all unrelated.

I had to ask myself, "When did that happen? When did I become a mam?"

The first time it happened, I thought "How funny. What a weird-o! Mam is such an outdated word."

The second time, I actually looked down at my clothes. "OK, so I'm not wearing a teeny tank top and teeny shorts (which is strike one if you are my age and still wearing that - a clear indication of Mam status); my clothes aren't that 'last season', though I could use a trip to New York and Co. - no mom jeans or anything."

And then I realized, "Oh. It's my underwear.. (has to be!) cotton.. briefs...holes.." And I swore I would do better tomorrow. And yeah yeah, even though the culprit wasn't something others would notice, per se, I was obviously giving off the cotton brief vibe, a.k.a, the mam vibe!

The next day I wore a racy black thong.

It was horrible.

But I wore it anyway, just to try and get the mam off of me.

It didn't work.

Twice more I got called mam. Is it because I have a kid? Does that automatically give a girl mam status? I have noticed a few more things sagging.. Is it my laugh lines that give me my mamish-ness? Is this one of those things that I just have to accept as part of the aging process?

PLEASE someone,tell me.

Until then, I guess I'll go and watch the Sex in the City movie to feel better about myself.

p.s. I wonder which of my reactions to being called mam was the the worst. Was it when I stood there, mouth agape, in my local coffee establishment when the rather large man in a tutu called me mam? Or was it when the new hire colleague at work called me mam in the copy room?

p.p.s. Sucks to my asthmar!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A "Fringe" Candidate

Today I happened to wander my way over to Swindle Magazine's website in all of its hardcore, grunge-alicious brilliance. Well, actually, I sort of tripped over it.. on purpose. But in doing so, I found this tasty treat. Enjoy:


Vermin Supreme


By Simon Steinhardt
Photos by Adam Amengual

Graphics by Rad Mountain On the campaign trail, Vermin Supreme likes to start his sentences with “I am the only candidate who supports…” And it’s true: he is the only candidate who supports fully funding time-travel research in order to go back and kill Hitler before he was born. He’s also the only candidate who makes mandatory toothbrushing his signature issue. After all, as he says in his dental manifesto, “Proper dental hygiene is essential to proper social order.” If you’re worried about flying monkey tooth fairies enforcing the mandatory toothbrushing laws, fear not, since Vermin Supreme is also the only candidate who promises that such creatures will not be used to that end.

Plenty of people make a career out of making a mockery of politics—it’s not hard to ridicule something that, more often than not, borders on farce. But few of them go so far as to legally change their name and party affiliation and pony up the cash it takes to get on the presidential primary election ballot, as Vermin did in Washington, D.C., in 2004 (as a Democrat) and in New Hampshire this year (as a Republican).

Vermin runs for president of the United States because it’s the highest office on the ballot, but his real campaign (or “cam-pain,” as he spells it) is for Emperor of the New Millennium. It’s an important job, considering he won’t be up for re-election until the year 2999 if he wins. And if he does, we’ll gladly yield to his mighty authoritarian leadership, as long as it’s as much fun as he promises.

Tell us about your campaign operation.


Baby, I am nationwide. I am fucking nationwide. That’s all I can say. I have constituents across this great nation of ours. Their level of support is indeed varying and wavering, but I’ve never blamed any of my supporters—and I use the term loosely—who will not actually contribute to my campaign, either with time or financial contributions. I understand that they may have to operate in a whole other dimension of reality.

You seem very focused on domestic policy—toothbrushing laws, legalizing human meat and so forth.Yes, and free ponies for all Americans. But where do you stand on foreign policy issues?


Well, I do believe that we should give the Iraqi people the opportunity to become a part of this great nation of ours. I firmly believe that Iraq would truly make a wonderful 51st state. It’s been quite some time since we’ve actually added a state to the union, and I believe the flag-makers of America could certainly use a shot in the arm in that direction, not that it’s strictly pork for them of course.

Are there any other prospects for statehood in your plan?


It looks like Iran is fixing to want to become a state. I’ve been watching the news, and it looks like they just might want to be our 52nd state, after Iraq. Once they’re all paying taxes to Uncle Sam and they’ve got the American flag flying over there, they’ll be instilled with pride for our nation. It will be such a beautiful, peaceful thing. Then, and finally then, they will be greeting us with flowers and roses and roadside flower stands and things like that.
Well it sounds like a mission accomplished to me.Yes sir.

Now as far as I know, you’re the only candidate, at least in the Republican Party, who wears a clown nose. Why do you think John McCain doesn’t want to wear a clown nose?


Sir, I’d like to address that issue of the clown nose. That is a dirty trick, sir. That is a smear that my opponents have apparently tarred me with for some reason. If you look carefully, you will notice that I’m not wearing a clown nose, nobody has seen me wearing a clown nose, and it seems that it is being added after photos are taken and distributed to the media.

So what is your real nose apparel?


Occasionally sun block when it’s really hot out, man. I have a very fine nose, I’m not ashamed of my nose, and I’m not sure why all this censorship of my nose occurs in the media. It’s very strange. I think you’ll notice that sometimes it’s actually a blue dot that I think was on TV for a while. I think it originally came from the National Enquirer. I think they put it on the face of that rape victim of one of those Kennedy kids, and then they started using it on my nose. A lot.

So are you saying you refuse to wear a clown nose?


Once again, if that’s what the people want, if the focus groups indicate that I would gain a certain segment of the clown-loving audience, then I’m all for it. My own personal research has shown that more people tend to be afraid of clowns, and would not be likely to vote for an actual clown for the presidency of the United States of America, let alone any other office.

What sort of controversial figures are floating around your campaign that you’re trying to minimize contact with?


I believe for the sake of my campaign and trying to avoid scandals that may have occurred in my past, I’m going to say that I’ve never heard of the Church of Euthanasia. And let me also say further that I never appeared on The Jerry Springer Show with them. I hope I’m clear on that. If I’m seriously trying to avoid the biggest scandal from my past, once again, I deny it would be any affiliation with any suicide-abortion-promoting cannibal cult. Not me.

Now I’m going to give you a little fill-in-the-blank analogy here. Barack Obama is to hope as Vermin Supreme is to…


A big block of Velveeta-style cheese.

So would you say you’re running on a cheese-based campaign platform?


As they say, all hail the power of cheese, but only in a metaphorical sense I suppose.

Melted, in a block or powder?


Oh, it would certainly be a big block, a strong foundation for this country.

Do you have any pop artists working on Vermin-cheese posters or anything like that?


Well the contest is open. Did I mention the Vermin Supreme Presidential Library?

No—tell me about that.


What I have done, I have hijacked a portion of the New Hampshire Political Library, which is a part of the New Hampshire State Library. The New Hampshire Political Library exists to collect memorabilia from the New Hampshire primary, and what I have done is I have taken over a section of it, liberating a corner of it, and declaring it the Vermin Supreme Presidential Library.



That seems a little presumptuous, don’t you think? Declaring yourself “presidential” at this point?


Presidential is a word that, if you look it up in the dictionary, would be described as something that pertains to the presidency, and so in that definition of the term I believe I am perfectly justified in claiming that it’s a presidential library, since it does pertain to the presidency and my quest for it.

From your market research, what do you see as some hot-button issues this year that aren’t being addressed by the mainstream candidates?


Once again, my quadrennial issue of mandatory toothbrushing, the funding of time travel, the zombie preparedness issue—those are my three hot-button topics, and of course free ponies, which is just a fucking promise to get votes, quite frankly. I also want to lower the voting age to 6 and make Hannah Montana my running mate.

Now what do you see as the flaws in Barack Obama’s stance on the toothbrushing laws?


Soft on plaque.

What about McCain?


If you dig deep, it’s not explicitly labeled, but I have exclusive video documentation of Senator John McCain giving support to the mandatory toothbrushing law. The approximate quote goes something like this. I asked him, “Senator McCain, do you support mandatory toothbrushing?” And he responded as follows: “Why yes, as a matter of fact, my campaign staff has a lot of practice hiding in people’s bathrooms late at night in order to make sure they have brushed.” So I’d have to say that he did in fact give full-on support for it.


There have been rumors that John McCain has been trying to get you to drop out of the race and endorse him. What do you say to that?


Once again, they haven’t made me a serious offer yet for my consideration to do that.

So what would you consider a serious offer that you’d be willing to accept in return for your endorsement of Senator McCain?

I’d settle for a cabinet-level position or a large cash payoff to help retire my campaign debt.

What particular campaign post would you be looking for?


I’d have to go for agriculture.

John McCain seems to have moved towards the center on—


Well he did start to suck the fucking fundamentalists’ dicks for a little while there…

I was going to say he had shifted specifically on environmental policy, or has at least tried to market himself as “green.” Would you say you’re more connected to the party’s base on environmental issues?


Well you know I’ve always been a long-term advocate of weather dome technology. As the climate undergoes certain alterations—and it hasn’t been proven that it’s caused by humans, by any means—the technology of weather domes, ala Bucky Fuller, is a very important part of my thing. Or we could simply kick anyone who complains about the weather out of the country. Environmentally, yeah I would be the extreme—extreme—environmental president. You see what I’m saying? Because I know the kids like to use that word, “extreme,” so I’m trying to use that buzzword in my campaign as much as possible. If you could just insert “extreme” in between every other word in the interview, that would be very cool.
So I’m sort of the extreme environmental candidate, and I believe that we can solve the excess carbon dioxide entering the atmosphere if we carbonate every beverage drunk by every American. I think the carbonated soft drink industry is on the right track, but as president I would certainly increase the amount of carbonation in all beverages, and carbonate every beverage that is not carbonated yet. And that way, we can all share in the burden of consuming and dissipating these harmful CO2 gases that might do something at some point.

So you’re saying you would take the CO2 gases out of the air and put them into our water pipes?


And our milk, and our orange juice and all other juices, and we’d pump up the carbon dioxide content in beers and sodas and all that good stuff. It would be extra, like extreme I guess. That’s just my solution, although I haven’t run it by any scientists yet.


How do you feel about being labeled as a “fringe” candidate?


It’s a term I can live with. I accept it. I’d prefer “lesser-known,” but I’ve certainly been called worse than “fringe.”


Like what?


Well I’d rather not get into it. You might use these words against me.

Well they’re just coming out of your mouth, so they’ll be printed as such.


Yeah, well, I’m not falling into that trick. I’m smarter than that. I’ve been doing this for quite some time, sonny.


Go here for the article.

I HAVE to go to work, but first this:


*Thanks for sending this, Jamie.
**Sorry folks, I couldn't resist.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Rain

The thing is it started raining this morning as I brewed a potent pot of coffee to counteract a very short night of rest(lessness). The heavy footed patter and disgruntled thunder, a beautiful sound, was one that I vaguely remembered, I think. And all I could do was whisper, "Thank you thank you thank you. Oh God. Thank you.." - a sort of prayer, I'm sure. And even if it wasn't, I meant it.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


Rich says (and he's right) that hiding what I post is promoting censorship just as much as not posting what I need to say. But I'm not ready to be that open, to put myself out there like that. I'm not much of a [confident] person. I'm sometimes good at faking it. And I'm far too concerned with not rocking my personal boat since these days if I go overboard, I'm certain I'll drown. So here we are: back to posting, editing, deleting, and hiding - for whatever that's worth..

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Define "Baby"

I may move to Nebraska in 12 years. It turns out that they have a law that allows mothers to drop off their unwanted babies at the fire station, but the law is not specific about how old the "baby" can or, rather, cannot be. Because of this "loop hole", mothers across the state and beyond are dropping off their unruly teenagers.

"Clearly, clearly, this is not what the Legislature intended," Todd Landry, director of the Nebraska Division of Children and Family Services, said.

Are you sure Mr. Landry, or are you back pedalling now that you realize that teenagers are still classified as children? And teachers are the first to be completely aware of this fact. Just look at their fashion and you'll understand. For example, I was walking down the hall when I saw this:
And yes, skinny jeans (especially on boys) is slightly disturbing, more so, I'd say, than sagging, BUT what about a boy sagging in skinny jeans? Yes, folks, it can be done. And on top of looking HI-larious, the boy could hardly walk, just like in the picture. It was like watching a mix between an infant who is slowly and carefully learning to walk and peg legged pirate tripping down the hall. But he was cool, you know.
And further down the hall I saw the haircut in this picture, the one on the left:





I actually stopped and said,"Really?" Didn't anyone tell the younger generation that the 80's was a multi-track, multi-car train wreck with fatalities fashion wise? They apparently have no idea. But who am I to tell them? I had feathered bangs and leg warmers.

See, Mr. Landry? They're children. You are obligated to take them.

The fire stations will soon be packed.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sass

In light of the tanking economy, I've gone a little nuts. Instead of taking all of my money out of the bank and stuffing the cash into pillow cases, medicine bottles, and/or fake hairspray cans, I have been a little bit (more) irresponsible. I'm like Nero who played his fiddle as Rome burned, only we are in America and instead of playing a fiddle, I went shoe shopping. Welcome home darlings:

At least I'll go out stilletto style. And Rich will be happy, too.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I know this makes me embarrassing to all demographics:

I admit it. I was caught loudly singing the following song at what apparently was a very quiet intersection. My car was sandwiched between two others and in each were people much younger than me and much more likely to thump the bass as they reclined at the wheel.. But whatever. You gotta live, yo. Plus, Madonna's hot, Justin helped to revive the beatbox (which we didn't know we missed until he brought it back to American music), and I pretty much like all of the music produced by Timbaland. So there you go..



The ones in the cars one either side of me just sort of grinned and shook their heads at me in shame. Yeah. That's right. That was me on the beatbox. What. You don't know me. Humph..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ulta - matum

I went to Ulta yesterday to get a foundation brush. This was the first makeup brush I've ever purchased, and I only bought one because I look and feel really tired these days and need some serious help. I figured that if my foundation was applied more evenly - in all the crevices of my face - then maybe I wouldn't look so much like a worn out 30 something high school teacher with a four month old baby at home. Did I mention I also have a cat? I do. I have a cat. I am a 30 something year old high school teaching cat lady with a baby. Not. So. Sexy.

Anyway, this was my first Ulta experience and I have to say that I was seriously taken aback by it. I was completely uncomfortable. I walked around and was acutely aware that I was the only one NOT made up completely. Every woman there was wearing makeup - perfectly applied - and even though their clothes indicated that some of them just rolled out of bed and ran to Ulta because they were out of shampoo and they needed it for their morning shower, they were all adorable. Also their hair was morning messy but in a cute way - as in NOT ratted yet still remarkably flat like mine is in the morning - a little tousled and still styled from a night of cosmopolitans and flirting at the trendy, Jason Mraz playing cocktail lounge.

In short, I am not that girl.

I've never been that girl.

So I grabbed my makeup brush, rushed towards the check out line with my head down, and ran out of the store to stand next to all of the husbands at Golf World so that I would feel a little more comfortable. GOLF WORLD, people!

And for better or worse, I have always been the one who went au naturale (before Niki Taylor made it fashionable in the 90's) when my friends were getting their hair and nails done, but that was mostly because I didn't really give a sh*t about my appearance. Or was it that I was afraid I wouldn't measure up? I can't remember. I do know that I was skinny when curves were in, I had a messy perm when strait and flippy hair was the fashion, and I wore t-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans probably just to piss off my mom. Also I liked to climb trees.

I've never been girly. I never wore makeup either. In fact, when I actually tried to apply it for prom, my little brother told me I "looked like a whore" just as my date rang the doorbell. I was a little stung by his remark, but at the same time, he had a good point. Unless it was a special occasion, I only wore makeup (read stage makeup) for dance recitals. So that's what I was working with - bright red blush, blue eye shadow, and, yes, whore red lipstick. I didn't know the benefit of whore red lipstick until much later.

Needless to say, I didn't have many dates. Or rather, I had many first dates but was never girlfriend material. I was stuck between the boys I shunned- who loved me - had been in love with me since third grade - who always remembered me on Valentines day, or who sat outside on my front porch all night to prove his devotion(!), and the ones who didn't even notice me, except for the occasional "glad you're one of the guys - and don't get any ideas here," hand shakes etc. Honestly, that wasn't horrible. I had a whole hellovalotta fun with my guy friends who happened to talk to me about the girls they loved.

But back to Ulta. My Ulta encounter intimidated me enough that I immediately made a cut and color hair appointment for today, brushed on my foundation with my new foundation brush, and applied some serious eyeliner so that when all was said and done, I could model stomp into Ulta confidently with "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'" as my theme song.

Unfortunately, the very second I walked in today, that same intimidation seized me. I ran to the nearest stand which happened to be the lipstick display, grabbed the first tube my fingers could grasp -a shade more suitable for pig kissing - and ran like hell to the check out.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Comfortable With Uncertainty

Christine, one of the dearest people on the planet to me and who knows me better than just about everyone, gave me a lovely book for my birthday. It is Pema Chodron's Comfortable With Uncertainty. The book is a compilation of practical mahayana Buddhist teachings/meditation practices intended to "lead us out of the world of self-preoccupation into the greater world of fellowship with all human beings."

I need this.

I really appreciate Buddhism for its universality; one can apply Buddhist teachings to any religion or lifestyle. But I've always had a problem with what I call Buddhism's "selfish nature." In other words Buddhism, as I understand it (and in an extremely tiny nutshell), is about the self, or rather allowing the self to be part of the universe as one whole entity and finding peace therein; it's about transcending our humanness - the self becoming one with nature, with spirituality, with God - leaving worldliness behind, etc.. And I always asked myself where others fit in in all of this detachment. People are extremely important to me - more important than me, actually. I wondered how Buddhism and caring for others could coexist. This book seems to address this issue.

The first lesson in the book is about bodhichitta - the awakened heart of loving kindness and compassion that is inherent to our natural states as human beings. We are linked to everyone through the bodhichitta. But that is not enough. We must strive to be the 'warrior bodhichitta', which means having forward moving energy that is willing to enter into suffering for others' benefit.

One of my favorite statements so far has to be that many people use the 'climbing the mountain' metaphor to define their spiritual journeys, the peak being awakening. Chodron suggests that spiritual awakening is actually a path that goes down the mountain, "transcending the suffering of all creatures" one that "explore[s] reality."

In going down the mountain, we connect with others in the difficult parts of life (and learn compassion this way); therefore we find that "the awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

From the Gut

Last night after Rich had sung Jack to sleep, he went out to the "little outside" (our backyard) to bring in Casey Cat for the night. I was in the other room getting ready for bed when I heard Rich come in, riffle through a drawer, and go back out.

I wasn't sure exactly what was happening, so I listened for a minute, heard nothing out of the ordinary, and then followed Rich outside because it was too quiet. That's when I saw an unusual sight:

Rich was standing remarkably still four feet away from the corner of our yard, steadily shining a flashlight where the fences meet. I stood there for a second or two trying to assess the situation. In those very brief seconds, my brain crawler went something like this: "What is he looking at? Is the cat OK? Should I call for help? Should we be on high alert? I have a golf club.. no a bat..Damn, I know I'm for gun control, but maybe I should rethink it. Is that a cadaver? Buried alive? An arm coming from the ground? Mexican mafia..." and so forth. And as my paranoia went from healthy fear to certain global doom, Rich looked over at me and said very mater-of-factly, "Look. A possum."

"Oh," I sighed, a little disappointed, I have to admit.

"No it is! Look. I've never seen a real possum before."

"Is the cat OK?" I asked, not so much impressed by the possum.

"Yeah," he said, "they're friends. They were smelling each other when I got out here. See look. Casey isn't even puffed up."

"Is the possum trapped? Do we need to call animal control?" I asked in hopes that the possum could find his way out of our yard so that it could share this Disney experience with someone else's cat.

Ignoring my crankitude, Rich declared, "Man. I can't wait for Jack to be big enough to come outside and see stuff like this. I'll say, 'Look Baby Jack! A possum!' and he'll be all, 'Cool Dad! That's awesome.'"

"Will you teach him that possums are marsupials?" I mocked.

"Oh. Are they?" he questioned, followed immediately by, "Oh right! The opossum is North America's only marsupial."

And then the laughter came. I realized at that moment that I hadn't laughed in a really, really long time. And I couldn't stop laughing because, damn, Rich is adorable and I'm delighted that he's such a great Dad, and because um, when did Rich apply for, get hired by, and make a documentary on North American Marsupials? I laughed hard. Outloud. From the gut.

And it felt so good.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Alarum Within

I really wish we could have internal warning alarms or some sort of trumpet fanfare - one of those buzzer sounds? - that would indicate to us when something is terribly wrong about our logic or understanding. Sometimes, I guess, we do have some warning- like when we get a heavy feeling in the pit of our stomach when something horrible is about to happen. But mostly I'm talking about having an internal, spiritual, or mental alarum that indicates when we ought to fight a legitimate fight for the good of our mental and spiritual well beings and/or for overall promotion of good in the world.

That being said, we would first need to tap in to that all encompassing "good" quintessence so that we understand that what we are fighting for is actually good.

I think most of us would agree that there are universal qualifiers that make up what we call "good". These are spiritual. They were here before there was a universe, nascent to the very earth that we walk on and to the air that we breathe. We inherently know what these are without being able to define them. They are components that make up qualities such as morality, kindness, helpfulness, gratitude, good stewardship, etc.. In fact, defining "good" as anything other than the components of qualities places a certain bias on the definition of "good". And that can be bad.

To clarify, good has nothing to do with religiosity or cause. I mean, religion and causes can work for (and with) the greater good, but neither of these are inherently good since they are man made. Both, without meaning to, can actually oppose goodness.

That being said, what happens when we perceive "good" to be threatened? To what extent is it our jobs as upholders of good to fight in the name of it?

For example, when someone makes a statement such as, "All Iraqis are terrorists" or "Americans are more deserving of (food, good health, happiness, wealth..) than everyone else" or "People who are poor deserve to be poor" or "If your religion isn't _____(fill in the blank with any dogma)_________, then you're going to hell" etc. and OH MY GOD, there are so many more that I've heard today alone. These statements do not, in any way, reflect the "good" as we should all understand it. In fact, even though the people making these statements perceive them as being good or being made in the name of what they think is good, they are completely bogus universally!

There should be alarum for that.

And that's what I mean in talking about alarum within. Why can't there be something internal that indicates either #1, the fact that what we are saying is ridiculous, illogical, uh.. bullshit and/or #2 a rational reaction is appropriate when dealing with others who say things that oppose goodness so that they can understand the fallacy of their statements, especially when they don't even recognize that what they are saying is harmful. And regarding the second, there are times when it is not OK to react.

I suppose I am sounding elitist here. I don't mean to be elitist. In fact there are plenty of times when someone has needed to blow a whistle on my thoughts and statements..actions, even. And if I were truly a good person, fighting for the universal good, then maybe I wouldn't be as afraid of confrontation.

But I wrestle with knowing when to fight and when to stand down, especially when dealing with people I love.. And that in iteself creates alarum within, but of a different nature.

Loud Logical Fallacies

All logic is gone in this country and not in a good way. At least it feels that way to me, and I happily include myself in this statement. Bluntly, I really don't care about the actual "logic" (or illogic, really) part of it, except to say that it is what's feeding this huge emotional, reactionary shitwad of unpleasantness.

It isn't new that we all have differing opinions. It isn't new that we are treating each other poorly. It isn't new that our stress levels are maxed out. What is new is that we are all so divided that instead of sweeping things under rugs, pretending that certain opinions don't exist so that we can get through Christmas dinner relatively unscathed or ignoring that proverbial elephant (or donkey) in the room to preserve some sort of mental stability, all we are doing is talking! And it isn't healthy talking. It is Jerry Springer talking. Good-hearted, moral people are acting two and are speaking over, pointing fingers, and loudly yelling at other good-hearted, moral people who have their fingers in their ears, who are yelling "lalalalalala I can't hear you lalalalala." And then a timer goes off and the (non)listeners become the talkers and the talkers insert fingers into their ears. Isn't what I've just described one of the circles of hell in the Inferno?

The worst part is that some of us are listening and it is making us so incredibly sad that we just want to crawl under rocks and die a little. Some of us are learning things about our loved ones that we didn't want to know. Some of us are being heinously mistreated by those loved ones. People we had higher hopes for are disappointing us left(wing) and right(wing).

Please understand that healthy talk is a good thing. Maybe not within families... But can't we all just shut the hell up for a minute? Imagine what the world would be like if everyone just shut their freaking pie holes for one. whole. minute. SHHHHHH!

But we can't do it.

And I think that really makes God sad.

(If you've neverread the Twilight Zone screen play, "The Monsters are Due on Maple Street", you should. That would give you a pretty accurate illustration of what's happening here.)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Hello, Mam. May I hold your walker for you?

So, I'm another year older today. And don't I know it. I thought I was OK with this - you know - because age is only in the mind and all.. (sigh).
But DUDE. I got called "mam" four times this week! FOUR. And not by students who sometimes call me that. . The ones in ROTC do, anyway. And not by anyone who knows I am a year older today. Four perfect strangers called me mam this week - all unrelated.

I had to ask myself, "When did that happen? When did I become a mam?"

The first time it happened, I thought "How funny. What a weird-o! Mam is such an outdated word."

The second time, I actually looked down at my clothes. "OK, so I'm not wearing a teeny tank top and teeny shorts (which is strike one if you are my age and still wearing that - a clear indication of Mam status); my clothes aren't that 'last season', though I could use a trip to New York and Co. - no mom jeans or anything."

And then I realized, "Oh. It's my underwear.. (has to be!) cotton.. briefs...holes.." And I swore I would do better tomorrow. And yeah yeah, even though the culprit wasn't something others would notice, per se, I was obviously giving off the cotton brief vibe, a.k.a, the mam vibe!

The next day I wore a racy black thong.

It was horrible.

But I wore it anyway, just to try and get the mam off of me.

It didn't work.

Twice more I got called mam. Is it because I have a kid? Does that automatically give a girl mam status? I have noticed a few more things sagging.. Is it my laugh lines that give me my mamish-ness? Is this one of those things that I just have to accept as part of the aging process?

PLEASE someone,tell me.

Until then, I guess I'll go and watch the Sex in the City movie to feel better about myself.

p.s. I wonder which of my reactions to being called mam was the the worst. Was it when I stood there, mouth agape, in my local coffee establishment when the rather large man in a tutu called me mam? Or was it when the new hire colleague at work called me mam in the copy room?

p.p.s. Sucks to my asthmar!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A "Fringe" Candidate

Today I happened to wander my way over to Swindle Magazine's website in all of its hardcore, grunge-alicious brilliance. Well, actually, I sort of tripped over it.. on purpose. But in doing so, I found this tasty treat. Enjoy:


Vermin Supreme


By Simon Steinhardt
Photos by Adam Amengual

Graphics by Rad Mountain On the campaign trail, Vermin Supreme likes to start his sentences with “I am the only candidate who supports…” And it’s true: he is the only candidate who supports fully funding time-travel research in order to go back and kill Hitler before he was born. He’s also the only candidate who makes mandatory toothbrushing his signature issue. After all, as he says in his dental manifesto, “Proper dental hygiene is essential to proper social order.” If you’re worried about flying monkey tooth fairies enforcing the mandatory toothbrushing laws, fear not, since Vermin Supreme is also the only candidate who promises that such creatures will not be used to that end.

Plenty of people make a career out of making a mockery of politics—it’s not hard to ridicule something that, more often than not, borders on farce. But few of them go so far as to legally change their name and party affiliation and pony up the cash it takes to get on the presidential primary election ballot, as Vermin did in Washington, D.C., in 2004 (as a Democrat) and in New Hampshire this year (as a Republican).

Vermin runs for president of the United States because it’s the highest office on the ballot, but his real campaign (or “cam-pain,” as he spells it) is for Emperor of the New Millennium. It’s an important job, considering he won’t be up for re-election until the year 2999 if he wins. And if he does, we’ll gladly yield to his mighty authoritarian leadership, as long as it’s as much fun as he promises.

Tell us about your campaign operation.


Baby, I am nationwide. I am fucking nationwide. That’s all I can say. I have constituents across this great nation of ours. Their level of support is indeed varying and wavering, but I’ve never blamed any of my supporters—and I use the term loosely—who will not actually contribute to my campaign, either with time or financial contributions. I understand that they may have to operate in a whole other dimension of reality.

You seem very focused on domestic policy—toothbrushing laws, legalizing human meat and so forth.Yes, and free ponies for all Americans. But where do you stand on foreign policy issues?


Well, I do believe that we should give the Iraqi people the opportunity to become a part of this great nation of ours. I firmly believe that Iraq would truly make a wonderful 51st state. It’s been quite some time since we’ve actually added a state to the union, and I believe the flag-makers of America could certainly use a shot in the arm in that direction, not that it’s strictly pork for them of course.

Are there any other prospects for statehood in your plan?


It looks like Iran is fixing to want to become a state. I’ve been watching the news, and it looks like they just might want to be our 52nd state, after Iraq. Once they’re all paying taxes to Uncle Sam and they’ve got the American flag flying over there, they’ll be instilled with pride for our nation. It will be such a beautiful, peaceful thing. Then, and finally then, they will be greeting us with flowers and roses and roadside flower stands and things like that.
Well it sounds like a mission accomplished to me.Yes sir.

Now as far as I know, you’re the only candidate, at least in the Republican Party, who wears a clown nose. Why do you think John McCain doesn’t want to wear a clown nose?


Sir, I’d like to address that issue of the clown nose. That is a dirty trick, sir. That is a smear that my opponents have apparently tarred me with for some reason. If you look carefully, you will notice that I’m not wearing a clown nose, nobody has seen me wearing a clown nose, and it seems that it is being added after photos are taken and distributed to the media.

So what is your real nose apparel?


Occasionally sun block when it’s really hot out, man. I have a very fine nose, I’m not ashamed of my nose, and I’m not sure why all this censorship of my nose occurs in the media. It’s very strange. I think you’ll notice that sometimes it’s actually a blue dot that I think was on TV for a while. I think it originally came from the National Enquirer. I think they put it on the face of that rape victim of one of those Kennedy kids, and then they started using it on my nose. A lot.

So are you saying you refuse to wear a clown nose?


Once again, if that’s what the people want, if the focus groups indicate that I would gain a certain segment of the clown-loving audience, then I’m all for it. My own personal research has shown that more people tend to be afraid of clowns, and would not be likely to vote for an actual clown for the presidency of the United States of America, let alone any other office.

What sort of controversial figures are floating around your campaign that you’re trying to minimize contact with?


I believe for the sake of my campaign and trying to avoid scandals that may have occurred in my past, I’m going to say that I’ve never heard of the Church of Euthanasia. And let me also say further that I never appeared on The Jerry Springer Show with them. I hope I’m clear on that. If I’m seriously trying to avoid the biggest scandal from my past, once again, I deny it would be any affiliation with any suicide-abortion-promoting cannibal cult. Not me.

Now I’m going to give you a little fill-in-the-blank analogy here. Barack Obama is to hope as Vermin Supreme is to…


A big block of Velveeta-style cheese.

So would you say you’re running on a cheese-based campaign platform?


As they say, all hail the power of cheese, but only in a metaphorical sense I suppose.

Melted, in a block or powder?


Oh, it would certainly be a big block, a strong foundation for this country.

Do you have any pop artists working on Vermin-cheese posters or anything like that?


Well the contest is open. Did I mention the Vermin Supreme Presidential Library?

No—tell me about that.


What I have done, I have hijacked a portion of the New Hampshire Political Library, which is a part of the New Hampshire State Library. The New Hampshire Political Library exists to collect memorabilia from the New Hampshire primary, and what I have done is I have taken over a section of it, liberating a corner of it, and declaring it the Vermin Supreme Presidential Library.



That seems a little presumptuous, don’t you think? Declaring yourself “presidential” at this point?


Presidential is a word that, if you look it up in the dictionary, would be described as something that pertains to the presidency, and so in that definition of the term I believe I am perfectly justified in claiming that it’s a presidential library, since it does pertain to the presidency and my quest for it.

From your market research, what do you see as some hot-button issues this year that aren’t being addressed by the mainstream candidates?


Once again, my quadrennial issue of mandatory toothbrushing, the funding of time travel, the zombie preparedness issue—those are my three hot-button topics, and of course free ponies, which is just a fucking promise to get votes, quite frankly. I also want to lower the voting age to 6 and make Hannah Montana my running mate.

Now what do you see as the flaws in Barack Obama’s stance on the toothbrushing laws?


Soft on plaque.

What about McCain?


If you dig deep, it’s not explicitly labeled, but I have exclusive video documentation of Senator John McCain giving support to the mandatory toothbrushing law. The approximate quote goes something like this. I asked him, “Senator McCain, do you support mandatory toothbrushing?” And he responded as follows: “Why yes, as a matter of fact, my campaign staff has a lot of practice hiding in people’s bathrooms late at night in order to make sure they have brushed.” So I’d have to say that he did in fact give full-on support for it.


There have been rumors that John McCain has been trying to get you to drop out of the race and endorse him. What do you say to that?


Once again, they haven’t made me a serious offer yet for my consideration to do that.

So what would you consider a serious offer that you’d be willing to accept in return for your endorsement of Senator McCain?

I’d settle for a cabinet-level position or a large cash payoff to help retire my campaign debt.

What particular campaign post would you be looking for?


I’d have to go for agriculture.

John McCain seems to have moved towards the center on—


Well he did start to suck the fucking fundamentalists’ dicks for a little while there…

I was going to say he had shifted specifically on environmental policy, or has at least tried to market himself as “green.” Would you say you’re more connected to the party’s base on environmental issues?


Well you know I’ve always been a long-term advocate of weather dome technology. As the climate undergoes certain alterations—and it hasn’t been proven that it’s caused by humans, by any means—the technology of weather domes, ala Bucky Fuller, is a very important part of my thing. Or we could simply kick anyone who complains about the weather out of the country. Environmentally, yeah I would be the extreme—extreme—environmental president. You see what I’m saying? Because I know the kids like to use that word, “extreme,” so I’m trying to use that buzzword in my campaign as much as possible. If you could just insert “extreme” in between every other word in the interview, that would be very cool.
So I’m sort of the extreme environmental candidate, and I believe that we can solve the excess carbon dioxide entering the atmosphere if we carbonate every beverage drunk by every American. I think the carbonated soft drink industry is on the right track, but as president I would certainly increase the amount of carbonation in all beverages, and carbonate every beverage that is not carbonated yet. And that way, we can all share in the burden of consuming and dissipating these harmful CO2 gases that might do something at some point.

So you’re saying you would take the CO2 gases out of the air and put them into our water pipes?


And our milk, and our orange juice and all other juices, and we’d pump up the carbon dioxide content in beers and sodas and all that good stuff. It would be extra, like extreme I guess. That’s just my solution, although I haven’t run it by any scientists yet.


How do you feel about being labeled as a “fringe” candidate?


It’s a term I can live with. I accept it. I’d prefer “lesser-known,” but I’ve certainly been called worse than “fringe.”


Like what?


Well I’d rather not get into it. You might use these words against me.

Well they’re just coming out of your mouth, so they’ll be printed as such.


Yeah, well, I’m not falling into that trick. I’m smarter than that. I’ve been doing this for quite some time, sonny.


Go here for the article.

I HAVE to go to work, but first this:


*Thanks for sending this, Jamie.
**Sorry folks, I couldn't resist.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Rain

The thing is it started raining this morning as I brewed a potent pot of coffee to counteract a very short night of rest(lessness). The heavy footed patter and disgruntled thunder, a beautiful sound, was one that I vaguely remembered, I think. And all I could do was whisper, "Thank you thank you thank you. Oh God. Thank you.." - a sort of prayer, I'm sure. And even if it wasn't, I meant it.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


Rich says (and he's right) that hiding what I post is promoting censorship just as much as not posting what I need to say. But I'm not ready to be that open, to put myself out there like that. I'm not much of a [confident] person. I'm sometimes good at faking it. And I'm far too concerned with not rocking my personal boat since these days if I go overboard, I'm certain I'll drown. So here we are: back to posting, editing, deleting, and hiding - for whatever that's worth..